RANDOM THOUGHTS !

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

"If there is a *WILL*, there are 500 relatives"

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your air-freshener."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."

"Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!"

"why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder."

You never truly understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver."

How is it that *fat chance* and *slim chance* mean the same thing?"

A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

Don't steal a police car unless you're prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico.

Don't sweat petty things and don't pet sweaty things.

"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"