Donna G's blog: "a suprise at night"

Every year for my Birthday, I receive a ton of text messages and voicemails from my friends and family. The best are the voicemails. My parents and my siblings call in pairs or groups and sing their own special version of Happy Birthday to me. When I picked up my Daughter tonight, she was upset. I knew listening to the family voicemails would bring a smile even laughter to her face. While sifting thru the old saved voicemails, I stumbled upon a voice I a voice I had not heard in a while. Instantly tears rolled down my face. My heart ached. When you really love someone, you act a little like a school girl. You save pictures and voicemails of the one who makes the butterflies in your stomach. I felt the butterflies when I heard his voice. He left this earth November 26th, 2008. It was Glenn's voice. Each voice mail made me miss him more. The soft deep strong voice gingerly caressed my heart. I guess he wanted me to think about him for a minute. The minute lasted long enough to write this. When you have loved someone in your life, and I mean really loved someone, they are always with you....even on the days that life has occupied your brain enough to crowd thoughts out. Forever in my Heart he shall be.

He came to me one early Summers eve The Dark Hair and inviting eyes A smile to light up any room A friendly "Hi" came from me From there, the discussions were long Intelligence beyond my wildest dreams Talent, Beauty and Grace Where did he come from? Thru passing time, the friendship grew strong I raced to hear his voice, read his words Hear him breath, laugh, smile My heart lifted His poetry so sweet His words so beautiful Tales from the Sea The joy of life's adventures Shared with me A dark cloud rolled in Illness started to consume him Still his beauty shined thru it all My love for him grew strong One Autumns day They took some pride from him Feeling betrayed by Medicine His pain ran deep He persevered The love we shared grew stronger Our Souls were one Every thought was him Cold December turned him from me He tried to push me away He knew though I was to go nowhere Through the year More trials Never once giving up His determination and strength Being tried and tested His will being weathered But his Faith grew strong And his Soul was enriched Even though his body grew weak Then the news came.... Jesus carried him home I thank you for opening my Heart My Darling Making me feel things I had once thought were gone Being my best friend. Letting me Love you the way I needed to Love. You were the Best Friend Always there for me Always Loving me And touching my soul My heart will ache The tears won't stop But forever in my Heart You will be Standing at the Bay Looking at the Ocean I know my Sailor Awaits We will reunite When I go home This cold night I see your smile I hear your laugh And know you are with me Forever August 30,1958-November 26,2008

After everything we went through together, this man I loved for almost 2 years left this earth and was carried home Wednesday. Last conversation we had was a disagreement. I regret not having to have been able to take it all back. Although we had not been "Together" in a long time, I still loved him with all my heart. He was the one love that was never going to work. Cancer being the "Rapacious Creditor" that it is, savagely ran rampid through his body. He may have suffered seriously for a very long time, he did it all with grace and dignity. Never take for granted the people you love in your life. You will always be in my Heart Glenn Hall. I love you. August 30,1958 - November 26, 2008

There was someone on here that hurt my feelings really bad. He was a good friend but one day got a bug in his rear and decided he had to block me. We were friends. Yeah we flirted a little and one day he shouted out of the blue "You know I would so do you if I had the chance" and he was serious. He went away to another country for a few days. In that time I left a few comments and crap. When he came back he was so frickin cold to me. The one chick he was talking to from another country I guess told him she was uncomfortable with my comments. Look..be a man and just talk to me..or be a friend. I have a bf and I just flirt or what ever. If someone crosses a line with me I tell them and can remain friends..I don't hide. I think the other day I saw the skank float by with a status about him in it. I won't lie..it hurt. I miss my friend. He knew I had a BF and I talked about him all the time. I just don't get it. I wish I could get over this...

Looking at the History of my Love Life.... Any man I love, am married to, in a relationship with or even interested in all have the same frickin thing in common....they ditched my ass for a red head. Ironically, my natural color is strawberry blonde. My kid is a red head and most of my family are red heads. My ex husband is with a red head. My first love Brian Matthias, is now ..get this..married to a red head named DONNA. Gilberto that was the first man I felt something for after the mariage left me for a red head named Mel. PS recently smoked me for a red head from Oklafuckinghoma...and now? EDITED EDITED EDITED!!!!! OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE HAS TAKEN THIS BLOG WRONG!!!! PRESUME WHAT EVER YOU WANT I AM SICK OF DEFENDING MYSELF!!!!! GET A LIFE! That's it! I give the F*CK UP!

In my life, I am always the one who makes you smile when you are down. People look to me to find serenity, hope, faith and wisdom. We have problem solved with intellect over emotions in times of tragety, turmol and greif. I always have been honest, open and expressed myself articulately to those I have trusted. Very close people have called me their "Rock". Others I have trusted with my emotions, doubts and fears. With that being said, even rocks faulter. In the past 2 months, 2 Aunts passed away. One was the closest Family member to pass away in my life. A friends spouse took his own life violently a few days later. In that time another close friend had a heart attack. Another close friend who struggled with a deadly obsession finally lost her battle with addiction. Less than a week later another old time friend who was very instrumental in keeping me sane a few years ago overdosed. During all of this someone I loved and trusted very much was pulling away from me. They told me in so many words that they had been untrue to me.At the same time, my Daughter has become extremely ill with an unknown ailment that changes daily. With that all being said, between work, doctors appointments, caregiving, and modeling, things have been trying on my patience. Last night, someone was so rude and cold to me it felt like I was stabbed in the heart. 2 jobs canceled on me last minute and meetings keep being delayed. I know this is life..but we all have a breaking point. I reached it today. As silly as it seems, I have felt some people have been a little predujuice of me. A decision had been made that I was not expecting. For what ever reason, that is what made me break down. I never want to be a burden, complainer or fighter. I just want the boat to stop rocking.

Rose : I love you Jack. Jack : Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes. Rose : I'm so cold. Jack : Listen Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and make lots of babies, and your gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, but not here not this night. Not like this do you understand me? Rose : I can't feel my body. Jack : Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. Rose : I promise. Jack : Never let go. Rose : I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack.

Forever in my heart you will remain. I forgave you when you asked me to. I had the empathy needed to understand. With my Lord with me, I know I need to forgive. For each event that happens in life, It all happens for a reason. I thank you for opening my Heart. Making me feel things I had once thought were dead,never to be revisted. Being my best friend. Letting me Love you the way I needed to Love. On our way to a True Partnership. When i looked in your eyes, I felt like nothing else in the world mattered. You brightened a room like Sunshine on a cold December Morning. The news of something disturbing, Shocked and Rattled me. I felt as if the warmth and love I had was threatened. I know now I will never be able to open up like that again. The trust I had I know now, I will never be able to give to anyone else. My trust was broken. My friendship was broken. My Heart is broken. Spiritually shaken, Emotionally sick, The Tears won't stop. Back to where I always am. Alone.