Xavier Grace PROUD DYKE TAKN BY A GOTHI...'s blog: "Evanescing Mortal Planes"

Could you please come a little closer Cuz I'm holding on to the edge And this feeling is a bit too familiar And all the times that you run from me Deep inside of yourself Could you take my hand and show me the way To heal every pain that you cry over I only wanna be the best of friends to you I only wanna be the last thing that you see When you drift off to sleep I wanna be every reason for every smile that crosses your face And the one to erase every tear that clouds your eyes I only wanna be the love you can never forget I see you standing broken and alone And I don't know how to show you That nothing you could do would ever change you for me I really miss the way that we laughed And the smiles I see in all of our photographs But most of all I miss the look That you had in your eyes when we promised forever I only wanna be the best of friends to you I only wanna be the last thing that you see When you drift off to sleep I wanna be every reason for every smile that crosses your face And the one to erase every tear that clouds your eyes I only wanna be the love you can never forget But I know that things change and these days Every little thing is a reminder Of everything that I did to destroy you In every silent way that I couldn't see So I'm standing right here hangin on Not knowin if I should walk away or keep tryin the way that I always do I really miss you but I can't face the person I've changed you into Is there anything that I could possibly do To bring you back to me I wanted to be the best of friends to you I wanted to be the last thing that you saw When you drifted off to sleep I wanted to be every reason for every smile that crossed your face And the one to erase every tear that clouded your eyes I couldn't quite make it I caused more pain than I wanted to So as I'm walking away don't blame it on yourself I can be the love you will never forget

I trace my life Moments forever faded I Dance to give me warmth inside Darkened hell of isolation Thin red lines That sing a story This pain is only temporary Life is just a game so SAVE YOURSELF TONIGHT FALL AWAY (far away from me) LEAVE ME LYIN HERE (far away from me) MY DISEASE WILL STEAL YOUR HEART STEAL YOUR HEART What's left of soul Where have you gone and why Have you become As icy as my blackened heart I can't touch you anymore You're so many miles away Though you're right outside the door I feel our distance In every heartbeat that ECHOES THROUGH THE AIR SO BLADE TO THROAT (far away from me) BLADE IN HAND (can you hear me love) TEAR AWAY THE HATE THAT STAINS (lie me in my coffin love) RID MYSELF OF THE EMOTION (your love is now my grave) RETURNING TO THE WOOD (angels gather) THE COLD IS SO INTENSE HEAR THE LIES CALL Trace every doubt every confusion Every breath that darkness takes CARVE IT OUT IN BLOODLESS ECSTASY NOTHIN LEFT OF THE MONSTER BENEATH THE SKIN Not even human anymore SIFT THROUGH THE WASTE THE ROT I'M NOTHING (not even dignity is left my love) DON'T EVEN HAVE MYSELF

Don't call on the phone--I don't want to hear your voice Every moment spent with you I am eternally alone Don't ever come around--you make me die inside I don't want to know you--you're nothing that I need I'm a liar--trees sing softly I always meant it--polar opposites Beautiful liar...well not really but Do you get it I hate you--more than night hates the day One more day with you I may Slit my wrists or cut my throat I don't want you near me--you don't do anything for me I'll let you drift out to sea and I'll laugh as you drown now I'm a liar--trees sing softly I always meant it--polar opposites Beautiful liar--well not exactly Can you believe me Or do you wonder If I'm really a liar

Voices down abandoned corridors And where do I take this pain Bury it my tragic love Bury it so deep inside A secret lover new affair The passion coursing deeper than the dawn's soft touch Bury it but it remains Bury it but still it sings Holding on to save my soul Holding on but letting go Scared to death afraid to see The darkness is as bright As the light could ever be

I'm sick of feeling like I need you Knowing I never did, I miss you Taking and breaking and hating My memories are all stained again I'm sick of feeding your attention Knowing I never did I distress you Faking, forsaking, and failing Fuck you for killing me It seems like everyday's the same And I'm left to discover on my own It seems like everything is grey And there's no color to behold I'm in hell I am prepared now Everything's gonna be fine one day too late I feel the dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I am silence sent to find you I am violence sent to fuck you up Take me and break me, rape me, forsake me And my words will be here when I'm gone As I'm fading away against the wind And I'm sympathetic Never letting on I feel the way I do As I'm falling apart again at the seam And it seems I'm alone here, hollow again And the scars I am left with swallow again The same old feelings are taking over And I can't seem to make them go away Must be something inside me But I don't think so anymore It's cold outside I'm sensing fear My self control has disappeared I'm spinning out at each end The more the light shines through me I pretend to close my eyes The more the dark consumes me I pretend I'm burning, burning bright I just won't relax I can't catch my breath Because I'm sick and tired of you'll be fine Well how do you know, can you read minds Have you ever felt lost inside so unloved within that you almost die Have you ever stepped out of the light And realized there's a stranger inside I'm starin down the barrel of a .45 Swimmin through the ashes of another life So light a fire under my bones So when I die for you at least I'll die alone I can hardly remember the look of my own eyes

Buried at PhotoCasket.com Someday someone will take the fear away And I won't be afraid Of the shadows dancing out their lives at the corners of myeyes I won't be left carving designs
Buried at PhotoCasket.cominto wood Prayin that the I'll be anything but misunderstood There isn't much left at the bottom But everything I got is yours
Buried at PhotoCasket.com
Buried at PhotoCasket.comBy my side Maybe just a little too much But what can I do just watch the words that I say
Buried at PhotoCasket.com That's all I know
Buried at PhotoCasket.com That's my only plea Cuz without you I'm just a black heart
Buried at PhotoCasket.comslowly fading away I'll keep you safe and I'll
Buried at PhotoCasket.comguard your heart As long as this never falls apart. FRAGILE LIFE Like maybe I'm just one more in the rat race I've got nothing left Some days I feel like shit Some days I just wanna quit and be normal for a bit When it comes down to it all I have are And I'm left standing alone One more outcast with no home Only there to guide me through But I'm not so sure I'd even want to know I feel so I wish I could say Everyone I ever loved or cared about I've hurt somehow Looking out of my cell The bars that hold me are my own skin I'll remove it bit by bit Get fed up And just quit COUNTING GAME 1, 2 Dreams come true 3,4 are all that's left any more 5,6 Crutch, escape, or crucifix? 7, 8 Heaven can wait 9, 10 Don't give in I will be there Waiting for you to breathe again

Where do I take this pain of mine I run but it stays right by my side So tear me open, pour me out These things inside they scream and shout And the pain still hates me So hold me until it sleeps Just like a curse, just like a stray You feed it once and now it stays Now it stays So tear me open, but beware Theres things inside without a care And the dirt still stains me So wash me until Im clean It grips you so hold me It stains you so hold me It hates you so hold me It holds you so hold me Until it sleeps... So tell me why youve choosen me Dont want your grip Dont want your greed Dont want it Ill tear me open, make you gone No more can you hurt anyone And the fear still shakes me So hold me until it sleeps I dont want it.....no It grips you so hold me It stains you so hold me It hates you so hold me It holds you, holds you, holds you Until it sleeps... So tear me open, but beware The pains inside without a care And the dirt still stains me So wash me til Im clean Ill tear me open, make you gone No longer will you hurt anyone And the hate still shakes me So hold me until it sleeps Until it sleeps Until it sleeps Until it sleeps Welcome to where time stands still No one leaves and no one will Moon is full, never seems to change Just labeled mentally deranged Dream the same thing every night I see our freedom in my sight No locked doors, no windows barred No things to make my brain seem scarred Sleep, my friend, and you will see That dream is my reality They keep me locked up in this cage Can't they see it's why my brain says “rage” Sanitarium, leave me be Sanitarium, just leave me alone Build my fear of what's out there Cannot breathe the open air Whisper things into my brain Assuring me that I'm insane They think our heads are in their hands But violent use brings violent plans Keep him tied, it makes him well He's getting better, can't you tell? No more can they keep us in Listen, damn it, we will win They see it right, they see it well But they think this saves us from our hell Sanitarium, leave me be Sanitarium, just leave me alone Sanitarium Just leave me alone Fear of living on Natives getting restless now Mutiny in the air Got some death to do Mirror stares back hard kill is such a friendly word seems the only way for reaching out again WEST END GIRLS -- PET SHOP BOYS Sometimes you're better off dead there's a gun in your hand and it's pointing at your head you think you're mad too unstable kicking in chairs and knocking down tables in a restaurant in a west end town call the police there's a madman around running down underground to a dive bar in a west end town. in a west end town in a dead end world the east end boys and west end girls in a west end town in a dead end world the east end boys and west end girls west end girls too many shadows whispering voices faces on posters too many choices if, when, why, what how much have you got have you got it together if so how often which do you choose a hard or soft option how much do you need in a west end town in a dead end world the east end boys and west end girls in a west end town in a dead end world the east end boys and west end girls got a heart of glass or a heart of stone just you wait till i get you home we've got no future got no past here today built to last in every city in every nation from lake geneva to finland station how far have you gone in a west end town in a dead end world the east end boys and west end girls in a west end town in a dead end world the east end boys and west end girls west end girls

Silver shards Pieces of me Too small to matter Busted mirror Walk alone Hallowed halls Though someone's here Distance maims the wounded heart And time scabs over pain Slowing down Oldest clock Nothing else remains A speck of dust Scattered by a cough I am a patch of darkness A wisp of smoke that fades I wonder why I stay here Day after day I hear a sad and lonely flute Upon a distant shore I wish that time would forget me And I could be no more I am a patch of darkness A wisp of smoke that fades I understand the waterfall Teeming and yet isolated I hope that I will disappear Every cosmic impression erased I say that dreamers should be crushed I dream of a place so far from here Not one I could call home I am a patch of darkness A wisp of smoke that fades

Endostatic sunshine An amorphous sound blast heeded By the dying legions of the unborn Ectoskeletal convulsion The masses gagging in ecstasy and the high Dancing, because it's all we've left Cold-- And we've lost our sense of time Direction No one left to catch the Fallen Ones Falling towards an abysmal darkness That none hos reached the bottom of yet And those farthest down have been falling since the first breath of creation Where is the sun, O careless Master? The slave cries out... And acidic rain pelts his flesh Th slave huddles in a forgotten corner of time And the spiders weave their webs And take their fill And drink life from the wasted veins.

Night cold Loneliness settles Awaiting the postcard in the mail Singing songs The remind-me-songs The-time-we-lost-songs And the let's-never-let-go-songs Water down a drain Like my life A powerless whirpool Without an undertow Nothing dangerous Yet something slightly intriguing What do I want you ask ceaselessly What do you need you ask endlessly What can you get me to make me a little more ok? All I ask All I want All I need-- Send me you.