A Christmas Story
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
> He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
> Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
> I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
>
> I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
> Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
> The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
> The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
>
> Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
> Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
> And just when I thought that things would get better
> Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
> They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
> Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
>
> And the kids these days--they all are the pits
> They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
> I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
> Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
> I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
> They want computers and robots..they think - I'm IBM!
>
> Flying through the air...dodging the trees
> Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
> I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
> I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
>
> There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
> I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
