KrAzY KeN FM2 Aurora Purple's blog: "grounded for life"

Old demons and dreams are on the agenda today. Would you have liked to be an artist? Are you sure about that? If you are an artist already, would you like to be a more prominent, or a richer, one? Be wary of such daydreaming because it takes you away from enjoying your real life. To live in the "here and now," to embrace what you already have, will ultimately give you the same satisfaction as those who are richer, or more famous...

its almost that time for school yay can't wait .. well ok the government sucks cuz they are holding back funding to the state for the kids to go to school.. well damn ok whats next

So not that i normally try talking about myself as whats going on in my personal life at home but anyway.. i'm struggling mentally cuz of the situation that i'm gonna be currently going through.. because of a violation of no smoking in the apartment i'm being evicted at the end of the month.. not many apartments in the area available and it sucks cuz you can only work with sooo much and theincome is a little tough.. so yeah i mean during the pandemic we are currently going through i almost want to think i have a fighting chance to stay but yeah i'm not so sure about that.. other than that i have to try and find a 2 bedroom at least for me and my kid.. i don't want to live with someone and their rules cuz that totally sucks and i'm not able to be me.. yes its sad to say fubar is my get away from reality.. crapppp well ok i have to get back into my own lil world so i don't over think shit .. thanks .. had to just get these thoughts out

Ladies and gentlemen i'm almost thinking that my time on fubar is coming to a close, i so love making new friends and i love all the friends i have made over the years. but when it comes right down to it, i feel like fubar is the only thing i can look forward to. Its hard to get a relationship and keep it, to make sure that love is equal between us both, but alot of people have their own personal agendas and its getting harder to know who is gonna be by your side at the end of the day. I love listening to all the music regardless if i wanna hear it or not, But when do i get to live my life.. honesty and communication goes hand in hand .. if theres not trust and honesty and no communication then why do we keep trying to look for something that may or may not be there.. don't get me wrong i've heard the success stories on fubar .. and i've seen n heard the worse. When do we get to actually settle down.. again i don't know what i'm wanting to do ... 

I"m wrong becasue i didn't know better than to say no, I was wrong because i allowed someone to come in and not respecrt my relationship i was in, I am wrong for not getting rid of the problem when i had the chance. I was wrong because i i felt like i wasnt being appreciated and loved enough. I was wrong. I was wrong for feeling like i was pushed aside for who ever, as if i was a joke . I know i'm better than that .. but when will it be mutual of the relationship where 50/50 actually matters

so someone gets butt hurt and someone gets pissed.. and yet no one will listen to what i have to say.. cuz well i didn't want a certain person .. I just wanted the woman i was with.. i'm sorry if my choice of a relationship wasn't what you wanted but i know where my heart is and i know where my heart will always be

The world has gained an angel and one of fubar's own Selena around 12 noon yesterday.. Selena aka Charlene will be greatly missed.. she might of been one of those rare people and had a weird quirk to her but she was a good woman.. god bless and rest in peace my dear friend

To my loving beautiful love of my life, We started out as 2 individuals that didn't know each other.
we began to know who we were as people and obviously the people we hung around with. Our first contact with each other was mutual and
a blessing. I never realized that my future was sitting in front of my face till we started talking more, and my feelings became
more and more for you.

Jessica you have come into my life more than i ever thought a person could, lifted me up with just by saying hi or hello. My eyes always
get bright and happy knowing that you are there. your beauty inside and out. your cute voice and the way you smile at me
when ever i say or do something krazy. I keep replaying in my head, how can this be possible.. but theres a reason why
everything happens.. I think my mom brought me to you and showed me that you are the one that can help me as much as i can
help you.

Hand in hand you give me so much to look forward each day. You even accept adam as your own, and adam is just one amazing
kid that loves to be loved but also for his daddy to be happy. My world is now complete with you in it.. once we start our
life together, we will never have to look back at anything negative in our life.. cuz we have found the one true love we
always wanted, desired, needed. I love you Jessica with all my heart.

I promise to never let you fall, to always give you that love you always need and desire, one day at a time we can reach the stars,
together we will look back and see the path we traveled to get where we are. I will never regret coming into your life.
I will always say.. I loved you from the very start. i'm that guy that will go to the
end of the world for you my true love . ma belle reine, dans mon merveilleux monde krazy. Cerise, tu es ma flamme étern inelle

I think i have over stepped myself .. I get accused of cheating when i didn't do anything but a simple emote.. that makes shit kinda stupid if you think about it.. a fantasy website taken seriously by too many people.. I once took it as it was and was upset but in the long run.. there was more going on which i had already knew.. so I'll make it this time i'm sorry for expressing my feelings .. its ok for you to flirt but not for me.. i'm sorry i put my life on the line for 8 months to help you through life just to be told no.. wait was I wrong.. no i wasn't wrong.. what i was wrong doing was thinking that I could of had a love of a life time from a woman that i over looked everyones opinions.

I don't know what to think anymore .. i'm being told because of my actions i'm wrong... but then again why was my actions made.. cuz a woman thinks a joking around emote in a lounge is serious.. I even proved that i wasn't cheating.. but ask yourself this question.. how many guys have you flirted with in your sb discord skype or where ever while you were in a relationship.. I'm sorry for emoting people to joke around

I sit here looking for answers and yet i don't listen to the answers given to me. my head wants to think anything is possible but then this negative feeling of .. its a game thats being played keeps going on and on that hurts.i do care and love.. in other words I fucking Loke you is my way of saying i like love you for you. I can't bring back everything that was done.. but then again would of it been different. Would i be treated the same way.. Id like to think things could of been perfect or great if things worked out great and the opportunity of flirting with others didn't happen. But then again this is Fubar and we are in the land of make believe