Tattoo's blog: "Life"

(Best thing I've read in a bit. I didn't get to watch the game,
but the young Man's got some set of balls, that's for sure!)

Patrick Mahomes had been sacked three times and picked twice. His Kansas City offense hadn’t scored a point in over 33 minutes of game time, a couple hours in real time.

"Heart of Gold", by Neil Young

I want to live
I want to give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold

What plays at my house:

1. Crazy, by The Next Unknown
2. Carry My Body Down, by Nick 13
3. What's Up, by 4 Non Blondes
4. Ready to Roll, by Jet Black Stare
5. Things That Make You Scream, by Memory of a Melody

"What's Up?", by 4 Non Blondes

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

"Stew"

"Welcome back from the commercial break, brought to you by our sponsor, Assurance Adult Overnight Underwear, whose motto is, So fuckin' stealthy, you'll forget you're even wearin'em!" Cough, bullshit, cough. "Ok, boys & girls, today on "Kevin's Home Cookin' Network", Imma teach y'uns how to make my age-old classic stick-to-your-ribs "Shit Storm Stew", ok? How 'bout it? Mmmmmmm! It do sound utterly de-double-licious, now don't it? Yep it do! Here we go, hang on tight! In a large bowl, mix one peeled micro budget, a giant bag of wild neuropathy, one cup of sun-dried diabetes, four sticks of multiple sclerosis, and one cup of powdered cancer. Stir vigorously. Pour into a large cookin' pot, or smoke some pot, whichever is easier, you know, whatever, and set aside. In a skillet, saute one pound of trimmed & cubed bad luck, cook over medium-high heat, scraping the pan with a wooden spoon to loosen any browned bits. Disgustin'. Absolutely disgustin'. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a slow simmer, skimming broth from time to time, until the bad luck is tender to your likin'. When done, fold into other mixture, and add approx. two gallons of red wine (To you, silly, not the food! Ewww!), then place in a pre-heated oven. Cover & cook at 5,000 degrees for a tad over 16 years, Remove from oven, and allow to cool. You're rarin' to chow, right now, huh? Well, hold yer horses & wait jus' a sec, we're 'bout there. Garnish with fresh from the gutter strokes. Season with very low soduim, pain, loneliness, and really anything else you have layin' around, to taste. Ladle among four bowls & serve. Serves one, for four days. If it's a bit dry, try addin' some of your leftover broth, or, as I'm often told, just fuckin' deal with it! Ha! There'ya go! Easy, ain't it? It'll be scrumpt-dilly-ious! Bon appetit & salud! So, 'til next week, I'm your host, Kevin, sayin' good night & God bless. Y'all take care. Remember, when life gives'ya the big ol' screw, ya might as well jus' relax & enjoy it! Goodnight, ev'rybody! Cameras, fade to black. Cut the mics." Somebody just shoot me now, please...

"Earthquakes"

I've decided to call these things "Earthquakes, 'cause you shake violently, then topple over and wait for all the aftershocks. I'm not tryin' to start a fight, and I love y'uns to pieces, but to those that are sayin', "You should have called me!" or "Why didn't you text me?", I'm very sorry, but here's a few tidbits for you to chew on: My phone is ALWAYS in my front left shorts pocket for emergencies. BUT, when your whole body goes stiff as a board, and you're  falling forwards, backwards, sideways, or straight down, and your arms & hands won't even reach out to stop your face slamming into the floor, ground, yard, sidewalk, street, or whatever, and you work your ass off for over three hours to try to make your mouth scream "CAROLYN!" (My upstairs neighbor) just to get someone's attention as to what's happening, and there ain't never gonna be no "Honey, I'm home!" comin' later, and you can't turn your head, it only stares at the clock next to your recliner, and you lay there and think stuff like, "Fuck. I need to sweep!", and every minute that clicks off you try to make some kind of progress, whether it's recitin' the alphabet, or your full name, SSN, address, birthday, ect., there's no way you're gonna flip open your phone, and start trying to find help. Holly lives close. Dave & Ruth live close. Henry & Tom live close. Leigh lives close. Brenda lives close. Andrea lives close. Susan & Tom live close. Charlotte lives close, Susane & Mike live close. Alan lives close. Tess lives close. Karen lives close. Honestly, I just went through my phone to find anyone that lives nearby, that I have a number for. See? I'm surrounded by some of the very best folks on this planet. I did what I could, and just patiently waited for the storm to pass, the clouds to clear, and the sun to come back out. That is it. That is all. I was scared, but I did not panic. These happen much more often than any of y'all know. This ain't my first rodeo. You ride that mean, ugly, bitch 'til she quits buckin', then you ride her a bit more. That's my survival instincts. To not get flustered, and remain chill 'til I can make a plan. Add to all that, the fact that I'm a grown-assed man, that until my accident in 2006, had worked very hard his whole damn life and never asked nobody for nuthin'! (God I hate beggin' for help!) I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I feel like a loser. That ain't something that will ever change 'bout me, I'm thinkin'. I ain't always gonna be right, but I ain't always gonna be wrong either. I do the best I can with whatever pile of elephant shit lands in my lap next. I roll & I keep rollin'. It's all I know to do. Peace...

At 7:00pm, I had just come in from outside, and as I went from living room to kitchen, (To remove coat, poor coffee) I knew "something" was 'bout to happen. Since I know that my recliner is my safe spot, I turned to head back to where it was. At this point, everything I have just stops workin'. Legs, arms, feet, & hands. My right hand (It feels broken right now) had been tryin' to get my coat unzipped, and I did a full-on faceplant down onto the wooden floor. I could see the floor gettin' closer, but couldn't do anything to break my fall. I laid there 'til 8:03pm, then tried to get my hand out from underneath me, so I could try to crawl to recliner. I passed out again, this time 'til 8:38pm. My knees were on the floor. My upper body on the chair. I have no idea how I got up into the recliner. I looked at clock, and tried to work everything enough so that I could go outside at 9:00pm. Speech was just gone. Tried to make a fist with right hand. Tried to move back and forth to help ribs. Knee? Screw it for right now. I'll worry 'bout it later! I crawled to the door and pulled myself up. I fell two more times on the porch, but made it back inside, and just plowed, head first, into my recliner sideways. Now, at 11:02pm, I'm hurtin' for certain, but everything seems to work ok. Slow, but ok. My right hand is swollen and hurts like hell. My face & jaw feel like someone hit me with a Louisville Slugger. My ribs & kidneys feel like I got my ass kicked. My knee is bleeding. WTF? Oh well. M.S.: I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone. I love all y'all. Big hugs. Peace...

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

Carry My Body Down, by Nick 13

How long can this journey go on?
Will I find the place I'm meant to go?
Will dreams fall down around us?
Just like a winter snow
Another year has come and gone
Will my luck hold for one year more?
I think of how far that I've come
And what's been left behind

Welp, Folks. I've seen shit, done shit, heard shit, tried shit. smelled shit, touched shit, kicked shit, tasted shit, wiped shit, talked shit, dealt with shit, and just plain ol' stomped 'round in shit, more times than anyone I know of. I did not take the straight and narrow path, nor did I walk the trail less traveled. No Sir and No Ma'am! I'm not a choirboy. I chose the long, curvy, rocky, sad, winding, hard, lonely, confusing, grueling, painful, bumpy, hilly, and sometimes damn near impossible road. Mistakes? Yep. Millions. Stop signs? Pffft! I ignored every single one of them. Was I stubborn? Very! I was a bulldozer. A shark. A sharkdozer. Maybe? I lived hard & fast. I loved hard & fast. Very hard & fast. I gave my loyalty to those that earned it. I was a true lone wolf. I was never in a gang. No one ever had my back. I fought my own battles, and I cleaned up my own messes. I went to the dark side. (They have no cookies, just so'ya know) and loved it there. I went to the edge many times, and always, somehow, found my way home. I blazed right down Main Street, USA, and dared anyone to stand in my way or to try to beat me. I'm uncool, unattractive, unneeded, unwavering, unimpressed, unwanted, unapproachable, uninspired, unforgiving, unstoppable, unapologetic, untamable, and unlovable. Whatthefuckever. I'm still rollin'. Whether I was up or down, I always kept putting one of my big feet in front of the other. But, no matter what I did, no matter what decision I made, be it good or bad, right or wrong, it brought me to the place I am today. Right smack dab here. I'm hard to get to know, and I'm even more difficult to understand. I am dirty. I am broken. I am a mess. I am me, built by me, taught by me, owned by me, and finally, for once in my life, happy to be alive, and happy to be...ME! I'm a king, without a Queen. I've looked for only one thing my whole entire 59 years, and, even though I never found it, I do not consider even one second of my life a failure. A ton of lessons? Ummm, hell yeah! Absolutely! Many, many, many, many lessons. Slam me down on the concrete lessons. Rattle my brain lessons. Tough lessons. Knock me smooth out lessons. No worries. I always jumped my skinny, white, ass up off the stool, and answered the bell. No. Matter. What. I know of no other way. It's been a helluva ride though. Wow. I'm ok with who I've become. Now, onto the metamorphosis that's badly needed for this last chapter and my new post-surgery life. YeeHaw! Yay! Yippee! (Insert fake enthusiasm here) The one where miracles do happen daily, but magic never does. A world without magic is a very uneventful place to live. Yawn. Y'uns will hafta just trust me on that one. Y'all be cool. Peace!

"I've Been Everywhere" by Hank Snow

I was totin' my pack along the dusty Winnemucca road
When along came a semi with a high an' canvas covered load
"If you're goin' to Winnemucca, Mack, with me you can ride"
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand
And I said, "Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land"