Skyhawk691's blog: "Skyhawks Blog"

WHEN I SAY I AM A CHRISTIAN by Maya Angelou When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean living." I'm whispering "I was lost," Now I'm found and forgiven. When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on. When I say.. "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it. When I say.. "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain; I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.

The Man's Guide & Code of Conduct -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat. 2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella. 3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 4. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call bullshit. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent) 5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever. 6. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 7. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable. 8. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional. 9. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party. 10. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it. 11. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and, more importantly, the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean. 12. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see nothin'. 13. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is FREE BEER. 14. (Gas Warfare Act) you may flatulate in front of a woman only after you've brought her to climax. But if you trap her head under the covers (Dutch Oven) for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 15. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free. 16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 17. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin'", then you may sit back and enjoy. 18. Phrases that MAY NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers." 19. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. 20. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need. 21. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay. 22. Before allowing drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "F**KOFF!" You are absolved of your responsibility. 23. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was. Now... how many of you guys have experienced at least 2 of these in the last 6 months?

20 Point Plan to take over America by 2020 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A refugee from the Muslim Middle East thinks he has discovered Islam's 20-point plan for conquering the United States by 2020 – a plan revealed in the latest issue of Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin. Anis Shorrosh, author of ''Islam Revealed'' and ''The True Furqan,'' is a Christian Arab-American who emigrated from Arab-controlled Jerusalem in January 1967. ''The following is my analysis of Islamic invasion of America, the agenda of Islamists and visible methods to take over America by the year 2020,'' Shorrosh says. ''Will Americans continue to sleep through this invasion as they did when we were attacked on 9/11?'' 1. Terminate America's freedom of speech by replacing it with statewide and nationwide hate-crime bills. 2. Wage a war of words using black leaders like Louis Farrakhan, Rev. Jesse Jackson and other visible religious personalities who promote Islam as the religion of African-Americans while insisting Christianity is for whites only. What they fail to tell African-Americans is that it was Arab Muslims who captured them and sold them as slaves. In fact, the Arabic word for black and slave is the same, ''Abed.'' 3. Engage the American public in dialogues, discussions, debates in colleges, universities, public libraries, radio, TV, churches and mosques on the virtues of Islam. Proclaim how it is historically another religion like Judaism and Christianity with the same monotheistic faith. 4. Nominate Muslim sympathizers to political office to bring about favorable legislation toward Islam and support potential sympathizers by block voting. 5. Take control of as much of Hollywood, the press, TV, radio and the Internet as possible by buying the related corporations or a controlling stock. 6. Yield to the fear of the imminent shut-off of the lifeblood of America – black gold. America’s economy depends on oil and 41 percent of it comes from the Middle East. 7. Yell ''foul, out-of-context, personal interpretation, hate crime, Zionist, un- American, inaccurate interpretation of the Quran'' anytime Islam is criticized or the Quran is analyzed in the public arena. 8. Encourage Muslims to penetrate the White House, specifically with Islamists who can articulate a marvelous and peaceful picture of Islam. Acquire government positions and get membership in local school boards. Train Muslims as medical doctors to dominate the medical field, research and pharmaceutical companies. (Ever notice how numerous Muslim doctors in America are, when their countries need them more desperately than America?) Take over the computer industry. Establish Middle Eastern restaurants throughout the U.S. to connect planners of Islamization in a discreet way. 9. Accelerate Islamic demographic growth via: Massive immigration (100,000 annually since 1961). Use no birth control whatsoever – every baby of Muslim parents is automatically a Muslim and cannot choose another religion later. Muslim men must marry American women and Islamize them (10,000 annually). Then divorce them and remarry every five years – since one can't legally marry four at one time. This is a legal solution in America. Convert angry, alienated black inmates and turn them into militants (so far 2,000 released inmates have joined al-Qaida worldwide). Only a few ''sleeper cells'' have been captured in Afghanistan and on American soil. 10. Reading, writing, arithmetic and research through the American educational system, mosques and student centers (now 1,500) should be sprinkled with dislike of Jews, evangelical Christians and democracy. There are currently 300 exclusively Muslim schools in the U.S. which teach loyalty to the Quran, not the U.S. Constitution. In January of 2002, Saudi Arabia’s Embassy in Washington mailed 4,500 packets of the Quran and videos promoting Islam to America's high schools – free of charge. Saudi Arabia would not allow the U.S. to reciprocate. 11. Provide very sizeable monetary Muslim grants to colleges and universities in America to establish ''Centers for Islamic studies'' with Muslim directors to promote Islam in higher-education institutions. 12. Let the entire world know through propaganda, speeches, seminars, local and national media that terrorists have hijacked Islam, when in truth, Islam hijacked the terrorists. 13. Appeal to the historically compassionate and sensitive Americans for sympathy and tolerance towards Muslims in America who are portrayed as mainly immigrants from oppressed countries. 14. Nullify America's sense of security by manipulating the intelligence community with misinformation. Periodically terrorize Americans with reports of impending attacks on bridges, tunnels, water supplies, airports, apartment buildings and malls. 15. Form riots and demonstrations in the prison system demanding Islamic Sharia as the way of life, not America's justice system. 16. Open numerous charities throughout the U.S., but use the funds to support Islamic terrorism with American dollars. 17. Raise interest in Islam on America's campuses by insisting freshman take at least one course on Islam. 18. Unify the numerous Muslim lobbies in Washington, mosques, Islamic student centers, educational organizations, magazines and papers by Internet and an annual convention to coordinate plans, propagate the faith and engender news in the media. 19. Send intimidating messages and messengers to the outspoken individuals who are critical of Islam and seek to eliminate them by hook or crook. 20. Applaud Muslims as loyal citizens of the U.S. by spotlighting their voting record as the highest percentage of all minority and ethic groups in America. -------------------------------------------------- Some of these I see already creeping into mainstream America but they can ONLY do it if WE let them..We need more Patriots who are willing to take a stand against this silent invasion.. Your Choice??

"Silly String" Has Serious Use in Iraq By REBECCA SANTANA, AP STRATFORD, N.J. (Dec. 7) - In an age of multimillion-dollar high-tech weapons systems, sometimes it's the simplest ideas that can save lives. Which is why a New Jersey mother is organizing a drive to send cans of Silly String to Iraq. American troops use the stuff to detect trip wires around bombs, as Marcelle Shriver learned from her son, a soldier in Iraq. Before entering a building, troops squirt the plastic goo, which can shoot strands about 10 to 12 feet, across the room. If it falls to the ground, no trip wires. If it hangs in the air, they know they have a problem. The wires are otherwise nearly invisible. Now, 1,000 cans of the neon-colored plastic goop are packed into Shriver's one-car garage in this town outside Philadelphia, ready to be shipped to the Middle East thanks to two churches and a pilot who heard about the drive. "If I turn on the TV and see a soldier with a can of this on his vest, that would make this all worth it," said Shriver, 57, an office manager. The maker of the Silly String brand, Just for Kicks Inc. of Watertown, N.Y., has contacted the Shrivers about donating some. Other manufacturers make the stuff, too, and call their products "party string" or "crazy string." "Everyone in the entire corporation is very pleased that we can be involved in something like this," said Rob Oram, Just for Kicks product marketing manager. He called the troops' use of Silly String innovative. The military is reluctant to talk about the use of Silly String, saying that discussing specific tactics will tip off insurgents. But Lt. Col. Christopher Garver, a U.S. military spokesman in Baghdad, said Army soldiers and Marines are not forbidden to come up with new ways to do their jobs, especially in Iraq's ever-evolving battlefield. And he said commanders are given money to buy nonstandard supplies as needed. In other cases of battlefield improvisation in Iraq, U.S. soldiers have bolted scrap metal to Humvees in what has come to be known as "Hillybilly Armor." Medics use tampons to plug bullet holes in the wounded until they can be patched up. Also, soldiers put condoms and rubber bands around their rifle muzzles to keep out sand. And troops have welded old bulletproof windshields to the tops of Humvees to give gunners extra protection. They have dubbed it "Pope's glass" - a reference to the barriers that protect the pontiff. In an October call to his mother, Army Spc. Todd Shriver explained how his unit in the insurgent hotbed of Ramadi learned from Marines to use Silly String on patrol to detect boobytraps. After sending some cans to her 28-year-old son, Shriver enlisted the help of two priests and posted notices in her church and its newsletter. From there, the effort took off, with money and Silly String flowing in. Parishioners have been dropping cans into donation baskets. "There's so much that they can't do, and they're frustrated, but this is something they can do," said the Rev. Joseph Capella of St. Luke's Church in Stratford. The Shrivers said they would not mind seeing the string as standard-issue equipment, but they don't blame the military for not supplying it. "I don't think that they can think of everything," said Ronald Shriver, 59, a retired salesman. "They're taught to improvise, and this is something that they've thought of." Marcelle Shriver said that since the string comes in an aerosol can, it is considered a hazardous material, meaning the Postal Service will not ship it by air. But a private pilot who heard about her campaign has agreed to fly the cans to Kuwait - most likely in January - where they will then be taken to Iraq. Shriver said she will continue her campaign as long as her son is overseas and she has Silly String to send. "I know that he's going come through this. I hope they all do," she said.

A Yuma flute player photographed in about 1865. He is playing a cane flute. This demonstrates that the flute, while not common among all Nations, did indeed stretch from the west to the east. The majority of the flute music heard in the contemporary world comes from the Plains Peoples, in terms of how the flute is made, and the modes of tunings, fingerings, and style. NATIVE AMERICAN FLUTES There are many stories among the various Nations as to the origin of the flute. Some American historians believe that the flute was developed after German organ-pipe craftsmen came to America in search of woods with which to make organ pipes. Given that these craftsmen did not arrive in America until the late 1700's, this could not be a plausible theory, as indigenous flutes dating back nearly 2000 years have been discovered by archeologists. The flute was used by some Nations in ceremony or healing at one time, but it has been said by the Elders that these ceremonies have been removed from the People for a period of time. The flute's primary purpose was to be used as a courting instrument for young men's use only. Traditionally, women never would touch a flute. Many contemporary flute players still prefer this to be the case. However, various Nations having different customs, there are now several female flute players. The Elders tell that a woman is so powerful, that even her touch could destroy a flute's special ability to win the heart of the one it was played for. Charles Littleleaf, once said, "If the Creator gives a woman the talent to play the flute, then who am I to say she shouldn't play it?" The flute came to the People by way of a young man who had nothing. He fell in love with a girl whose father was a leader, a man among men. As the young man had nothing, he could offer the girl and her family nothing, meaning he could not even speak to her. He ran up a hill, sat beneath a tree, and began crying. The wind felt sorry for the young man, and began to gently blow around him, so as to dry his tears. A woodpecker began pecking at a tree branch above the young man's head. Although it was irritating, the young man did his best to ignore the woodpecker. Soon, the wind began to blow through the holes pecked in the tree branch. The branch fell from the tree, and the young man recognized the gift that he had been given. As the young man walked down the hill, a bull elk challenged him with a bugling cry. The elk sang his love song to the cows when he realized that the young man posed no threat., and the young man learned to play this song on his flute. That night, he sat down behind the lodge of the girl he loved, and played the song given to him by the bull elk. For 4 nights, he did this, and he knew that the young woman he desired was listening, as no one came out of the lodge to chase him away. On the fifth day, he followed the young woman to the stream where she went to get water each morning. He hid in the bushes, and played his song. When she turned, he stood, showing himself for the first time. He told her, "I know I am not much to see, and I have nothing to offer you but myself. I will protect you and provide for you if you will have me. If you can look at my eyes and tell me that you are not in love with the song that my heart makes for you, then I will leave you and say no more". Of course, the young woman was indeed taken by his song, as songs are very powerful when they are sung correctly. And the young couple became the first to come together because of the flute. And the young man, he came to be known as 'Tayazo hoksine" or "Flute Boy".

Here's some interesting trivia I dug up...ENJOY -------------------------------------------------- 1. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. 2. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair. 3. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. 4. A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear. 5. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. 6. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants. 7. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. 8. Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump." 9. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. 10. If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white. 11. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. 12. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do. 13. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. 14. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. 15. A snail can sleep for 3 years. 16. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class. 17. China has more English speakers than the United States. 18. A dentist invented the electric chair. 19. You share your birthday with at least 9 million people. 20. The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is one of the few places in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an aeroplane. 21. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have around ten. 22. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. 23. Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time. 24. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. 25. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck. 26. Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonald's. 27. No word in the English language rhymes with "month" or "orange" 28. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. 29. Cat's urine glows under a black light. 30. The first Ford cars had Dodge engines. 31. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. 32. It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni and about a gallon to clean the pot. 33. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age. 34. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. 35. The most common name in the world is Mohammed. 36. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. 37. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It to Beaver". 38. In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured. 39. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers - as they saw it as competition. It is not as chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine. 40. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. 41. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan" 42. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. 43. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. 44. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. 45. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. 46. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. 47. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. 48. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. 49. Americans on average eat a total of 18 acres of pizza every day. 50. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie. 51. Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider? 52. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. 53. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. 54. Polar bears are left-handed. 55. A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. 56. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. 57. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. 58. Butterflies taste with their feet. 59. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. 60. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. 61. Starfish haven't got brains. 62. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. 63. Using the correct hand positioning for typing, the longest word you can type using your left hand is "Stewardesses". 64. The word "Fridge" has a ‘d’ in it, whereas "Refrigeration" doesn’t. 65. The only word in the English dictionary that ends in the letter ‘AMT’ is "Dreamt" 66. Your body excepts caffeine more simplistically than any other drug, it can therefore become the most addictive. 67. Vinegar has more cleaning chemicals than white spirit. 68. The first ‘pocket calculator’ was the size of a brief case. 69. More people own a PlayStation than a Satellite dish! 70. If you hold an egg upright using your forefinger and thumb, the average person would not be able to crush it by applying pressure. 71. An ant can lift ten times its own body weight. 72. If, in proportion to our body mass, we could jump as far as flea, we could jump from one goal to another on a football pitch. 73. 5 out of 10 back pains are caused by bad wisdom teeth. 74. One apple first thing in the morning will provide enough natural stimulant as one mug of coffee. 75. In terms or profit, the three biggest brands in the world are Marlboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser. 76. Emotional hurt produces more tears than physical pain although tears from physical pain carries more nutrients. 77. The human taste buds do not recognise the taste of banana’s or onions, it’s only our sense of smell that detects these. 78. 6 out of 10 people remove the pickles from their McDonalds burgers. If McDonalds stopped serving these within their burgers they would save over $5million a year. 79. There is no such hair style as a ‘Mohican’ it is actually called a ‘Mohawk’ 80. Saddam Hussain employs ‘lookalikes’ to use as decoys, three of which were assassinated during the gulf war by UN forces. 81. The first person to create a corn flake, which does not go soggy when in contact with milk, will be an instant millionaire. 82. Two litres of Coke provides enough recommended sugar in-take to last 96 days.

1895 Eighth Grade Final Exam Remember when our grandparents, great-grandparents, and such stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. - - - This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, KS, USA. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, KS, and reprinted by the Salina Journal. 8th GRADE FINAL EXAM Grammar (Time, one hour) 1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters. 2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no Modifications. 3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph. 4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb. Give Principal Parts of. lie, lay and run 5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case. 6. What is Punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation. 7. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar. Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours) 1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic. 2. A wagon box is 2 ft deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold? 3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050lbs. for tare? 4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals? 5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton. 6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent. 7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per meter? 8 Find bank discount on $300 for! 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent. 9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance around which is 640 rods? 10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt. U. S. History (Time, 45 minutes) 1. Give the epochs into which U. S. History is divided. 2. Give an account of the discovery of ?America by Columbus. 3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War. 4. Show the territorial growth of the United States. 5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas. 6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion. 7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, ?Penn, and Howe? 8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, ?1849, 1865. Orthography (Time, one hour) 1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, ?etymology, syllabication? 2. What are elementary sounds? How classified? 3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, sub vocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals? 4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'. 5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule. 6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each. 7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: ?bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup 8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last. 9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, si te, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays. 10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication. Geography (Time, one hour) 1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend? 2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas? 3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean? 4. Describe the mountains of North America. 5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall &Orinoco. 6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. 7. Name all the republic s of Europe and give the capital of each. 8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude? 9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers. 10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth. ************************************************ Also notice that the exam took five hours to complete. Gives the saying "she/he only had an 8th grade education" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number. 13. Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) 18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up hurting someplace, you are probably dead.

People here in Texas have trouble with all those shalls and shall nots in the Ten Commandments. Folks here just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, some folks out in West Texas got together and translated the "King James" version into "King Ranch" version: Ten Commandments, cowboy style. Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas. Just one God. Honor yer Ma & Pa. No telling tales or gossipin'. Git yourself to Sunday meeting. Put nothin' before God. No foolin' around with Another fellow's gal. No killin'. Watch yer mouth. Don't take what ain't yers. Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff. That's kinda plain 'n simple don't ya think?

WHAT IS A VETERAN? Some veterans bear visible signs of their service; a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them; a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity. Except in the parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't tell a vet just by looking. What is a vet? He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel. He is the bar room loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel. She, or he, is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang. He is the POW who went away one person and came back another, or didn't come back AT ALL. He is the Quantico drill instructor that has never seen combat, but saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs. He is the parade riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand. He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by. He is the anonymous heroes in The Tomb of the Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep. He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket, palsied now and aggravatingly slow, who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come. He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs. He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known. So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded. Two little words that mean a lot, "THANK YOU". Remember November 11th is Veterans Day. It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag. Author Unknown