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Today

Well, it have been a few weeks since I have written anything...and considering that a lot has happened these past few weeks, I can actually say that things are finally going well. For one, I have a new job and this is the 5th week of training actually. I work for a company called "West Corp" and I am a Cingular Wireless Customer Service Rep". Kind of neat huh? The hours kind of suck but at least I am making a decent pay check for once. The only problem I have though is not being able to see my kids as much as I want to. For now I get the weekends off, so this is okay. Second, I do plan on going back to school in possible May...that is a plus. And Third, everyone is wondering when I will move out of my parents house....well, this week I am moving to my new place...hoorah! It is a two bed one bath apartment with fireplace and ummm, walkin closets...I love that the most...at just $495/month. I do not know how I was able to pull that off but i was able to do it somehow. I guess if you just keep looking you will find great things. So I have been quite busy these past few weeks. Unfortunately, I do not get much sleep though, since I am working nights at my job but I guess somehow I will work out something. At least, come August when my son goes to school, I will get to take him to school every morning...so, I guess the only problem I have now is finding an appropiate babysitter to watch the kids on the hours that I have to work. Yeah, it looks like Ive got my work cut out for me this week and next!
Well, just got back from the court house trying to figure out some things about all that is going on. I have been told many of things by many people about what I should do about this custody thing. Really I do not want to take the kids out of their father's life because he is a great father. But I do have to question why does he let his fiance in on this dispute? She may be the next runner up to be his wife but she has nothing to do with my kids and this situation. They say that they want what is best for the kids though. They think that I can not give that to them and what they want in the perfect family. Well, I am not like that...this is the way the ball is played in my home. Before I go into all of that I have to admit that I have not been the most perfect mother to these kids but I have been nothing but a hard working mother who loves her kids dearly and who is willing to fight for their return back into my arms, where they should be. So my eyes are wide open now to this situation. I know what I have to do. Jacob who is my four year old son needs to go to school this year...in August I will set that straight. He turns 5 in September. Samantha who is 2 years old will go to a daycare none the less and she will get some help with her learning criterias if there are any. But there learning will not stop with school...as a mother I have to keep them learning all of the time; teach them new things about life and all that they should know as children and promising adults. I guess in the mean time I will learn to be a better mother and to give it all that I can to be one. First I have to get those kids back and soon that will be done if Lorin C. Galvin has anything to do with it. He is the Director of the Conciliation and Mediation Services at the Douglas County Court house. I was told to go to the Conciliation Court because they could help me in this situation. The story is that my ex and I had a verbal agreement(nothing was written down) that he would come from Alabama--where he is stationed-- to get the kids here in Nebraska on December 30, 2006. This was where I made the mistake and had nothing written down stating that this exchange was going to happen. So now that my ex has the kids, he and his fiance are claiming that I am an unfit mother and that they want to do what is right for the kids by keeping the kids there so that I can get back on my feet....WRONGO! I know that I can get back in shape again but I do not need a miss prissy know it all who thinks that those kids would be better off with them tell me that. I was almost going to accept the terms that they were offering though...but then I just thought about my lawyer that got me thru my divorce. I called her up the next day to find out if what they were doing was legal. And what she had told me...... I knew in my skin that they thought they had played me for a fool. I am no fool when it comes to finding out the facts that is for sure. So I had to do something. I went to the court house to find answers today and boy did I get them. First I went to child support services and there was a nice lady by the name of Cindy I could talk to about this situation and she told me that I needed to go to the 1st floor and look for the Consolidation court...they would be able to help me out. Because in all reality, I was actually at the court house to find someway to get a court order to see if I can go to Alabama myself to get the kids without going to my attorney for help. But I found that in this situation it can not work out that way. So here I am talking with the Director of Conciliation and Mediation Services on the 1st floor finally and found the answers that I were looking for. Need less to say, my ex should have only had the kids for just two weeks (when looking at the parenting plan on the decree of resolution), if the kids were to stay longer than that then there should have been something in written stating that this was to happen and that the children will be returned to me. But if you remember, my ex and I had a verbal agreement. So, the Director of these services, Mr. Lorin C. Galvin had to call my ex(Joe) to tell him that something had to be worked out otherwise he has no right to have the kids with him. And would'nt you know it? Joe was cooperating. He said that if I can come next month to get the kids, he will be helpful in this matter, and will have no disputes. (Last night I was on the phone with his fiance and she was telling me that if I was to come down to get the kids there would be MPs standing at their door.....hmmmmm, but this never came from Joe's mouth though. I wonder why that is so? Probably because he is not man enough to speak on behalf of his children...or was it because his fiance just took the phone from him and she wanted to talk in his stead; I think it was that because really that is what she is good at these days) Okay so I did something I knew I should not have done before I went to the court house to settle this thing. I also sent an email to Joe telling him what I knew and what I had all against him in this matter. (((I knew I just should have surprised him when I started knocking on his door oneday but I did this because if I were to come down possibly next month he had the right to know that I was using the child support to do it. It is also tax time too so he is not really out of the dark, financially speaking...he will find ways to catch up just like I will. So maybe by then he will be stable enough to take care of the kids in that manner.))) I have my lawyer to thank for that, though. So maybe he was all ready to cooperate by the time Mr. Galvin gave my ex a call? By refusing to give the kids back to me and deciding on their own terms when they feel it is best to bring the kids back was one thing I was not going to live with. So I had to seek some help in this matter and I certainly did. Mr. Galvin was telling me that when I speak with Joe, he and I have to come up with some kind of an agreement when I can come get the kids or if we can meet half way. As it is financially, I can not do anything now because I am not working or going to school...which I do plan to do sometime soon. So I will have to use this child support when the time comes to it to actually come out and get my kids. Mr. Galvin's job is to contact Joe's unit commander and First Sgt to help make this exchange possible. That is a plus about my ex being in the military though....if joe does not cooperate then Mr. Galvin is in charge of getting things straightened out with his unit commander and first sgt. I feel so releaved now. So now I have to go home to make contact with my ex and find out when we can make the exchange. Maybe this time his fiance will not get what she wants afterall.

Another headache....

Okay for some of u, u know that I have had some problems in the past which have led me down the wrong roads. I have made decisions that were not well kept and it seemed like I did a lot wrong. Well, I guess i am making up for that now being that I do not have a job right now and I am struggling to make ends meet. But that does not mean that I am giving up on myself and what I hope to do in the next few years to come. For starters, my ex husband and I agreed that he needed to spend some extra time with the kids and I needed to make a new change in my life.. a new job that is stable and an apartment that I can keep. So as of now my ex has the kids and once he got them he automatically thinks that they are unhealthy and that i was an unfit mother to be taking care of these kids. Well, actually, this is not my ex that I am talking about...it is his fiance that seems to be all of the talkn because she thinks that she is the most perfect mother of all and that I am not taking care of the kids properly. So I am sitting here thinking...wait a sec, I have done nothing wrong to these kids of mine. I have fed them, I have clothed them, I have given them a roof to sleep under, and yes, I do give them a bath. But I know I am not perfect...I miss a few things here and there. So, they think that just because jake and sam look unhealthy and do not have new clothes and new shoes, and new hair cuts all of the time that they automatically want to get me with being an unfit mother. Hmmmm, let me think about this one....new clothes, new shoes, new hair cuts...hmmmm, new stuff, huh? At least they have clothes, and shoes, and hair cuts...I do at least take care of that and I also give them the food that they need...It is funny that they would automatically assume that I am an unfit mother especially at tax time. My ex has one child with this mother of two who isnt even divorced yet...needless to say. So they are wondering if they could file for one of the kids..Jake or sam, at tax time. Just because they feel that they provided more of the support to the kids than I during the year, when of course I am the custodial parent. Okay, this much is true....I worked for a company where I had made like a possible $600/month...but I was going to school at the same time and recieving the child support...I am also a vet too so I got the GI bill on top of my pay and child support. I was making good money but I am not the smartest at saving the money and that is my downfall..I know what I need to change. Unfortunately, that was what got me evicted from my apartment because I do not know how to save my money and pay the bills when needed. But in the while, I had fed the kids, bathed them, clothed them, gave them a bed to sleep in and made sure that they were happy as long as they were with me. All of my friends and family can tell that my kids were always happy. They were not malnurished and they were very well taken care of under my care. Okay so I am speaking the same things twice again..but this has got to stop. I have had nightmares that something like this would happen. That my ex and his fiance would find something wrong with the kids once they were in their care and that they would find some way to take the kids from me....although I truly believe that my ex has nothing to do with this..it is all on his fiance. I am not going to state what others are saying though about her or even what is on my mind about her but in truth, she opens her mouth when it should not...and believe me no one likes those kinds of people...I use to be one of them. But u do not see me whining about this at tax time. I am just sitting and waiting for my W2's to come in and then I will file for these taxes the way that they should be filed....the way that my ex and I made an agreement on. And if my ex decides to file for taxes with both of our kids on that sheet, it will come back on him since he is not proclaimed the custodial parent in the divorce decree. The IRS will jack his ass for filling incorrectly. SO, what to do next?! Should I file for full custody of the children on my side of the story? No, I should not and I will never even think of doing this to my ex who happens to be a rather fine father. I am not a bad mother and I will never be a bad mother. I am just slow at learning what it is like to be one. But I can tell ya I have learned a great deal about myself these past few months and that I am going to do what is right for myself as well for my kids. After I had that conversation with my ex's fiance, though about how she wants to take me to court and get custody, I got motivated and went to an employment agency to help me find a job. Because if I had no job the time they decide to take me to court, I know they will probly win. I told the agency that I had a very open schedule and that I can work any days and shifts. So now tomarrow they will call me back to let me know if they have work for me....I do belong to them now though and so I am most definately certain that I will be working tomarrow. At this moment, I dont care where I work just as long as I get some of my bills paid and such. And so that i do not lose my children. Some people try to change what they can about themselves though...but how can u do it when some people do not believe in what u can do if they have not seen it, yet? Well, it is time now for me to change all of that around. Although, in all reality I do not have to prove anything to anybody. I just have to do it and expect that things will be good out of it. I am not dumb and I know what is right for myself as well as my children. Its just that some people think that when they have the opportunity right in their hands to get what they want they try and take it from u. I use to be that way but I never thought that it would end up like this. I have hated and I have befriended this fiance of my ex's. Yet, I thought she would show me more justice as a parent and a mother than to put me down like I am the unfit parent. I trusted her and then I did not trust her. But now I am not so sure of what to think. So if u read this now and think that I am not fit to be a mother, then that is okay. I forgive you. You are not my problem. I deal with problems everyday. And now I have to be the one that has to be judged just because someone automatically assumes that my kids were not properly taken care of. Okay, so I am single and i am a mother. Apparently, I dont know what it is like to have someone to be there to help me take care of my children who is not my parents that is. Oh, yes, I live with my parents unfortunately because of this situation but at least I do not live on the streets. I know what it feels like to be lonely and to not have anyone....but it seems that lately I do not know what it is like for my kids to grow up without another father in their lives when their real father is like 1200 miles away. I know that this loneliness should not be but I also know that what I need to concentrate on now is my life and taking care of it the best way that it should be. Some people stuggle and struggle because they work too hard to make things right. That is me very so much because I feel like I am being rushed and I need to slow down before i over work myself. But I have overworked myself. I have done all of that. And I am tired and drained to the core because I am trying the best I can and no one seems to care to even think that I am trying the best I can. I have made assumptions in the past about other people and was very wrong to do this....i have made up for it though by keeping the peace in the family. However, that peace seems to be shattered because there is another lack of communication in the household. One person can ruin it all for a situation like this and that person is not going to be me...

funny

Blonde.... Okay I know this is a typical blonde joke but for the record and to not affend some of my friends and family, not all blondes are dumb....thanks, amanda. ------------------------------- A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!" The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten bitch," she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!

The new year.....

Okay, so this is the first week of the new year and my kids are not with me...not that I am happy with that but it at least lifts a lot of stress on my back...I can find a lot of jobs to help me get by. But I miss my kids very much and so for those of you who did not know, my kids did go with their father to alabama to stay for three months so that I can get a breather for a bit and find myself a good job in the while. (in rewind: This is why I live with my parents for the time being....back in october, I was laid off of my job because i was no longer working full time with them and I was back in school when they did not originally hire me as a student. They had no work for me so they could not afford to keep me. At that point, my roomie decided to quit her job because she did not like how she was treated. But after that, she was telling me that school told her to work on her free lance web designing work instead of finding a new job since she will be graduating in less than six months...I guess that looks bad on your resume; that is what they told her. So she did not look for work and for one, did not even file for unemployment...on top of that she did not even work on her free lance web design, either. She would rather watch her kids during the day so that her ex, who is the legal gaurdian of the children, would not have to go out to find a babysitter. It was good of her to do so but at that point she needed have some kind of an income; heck, she couldn't even drive her car anymore because her insurence was cancelled....how is she going to take the kids to the hospital when she can not drive her own car in case of emergencies? So at this point I was stuck and could not make ends meet and finally the apartment complex sent me a notice to go to court about an eviction. I knew that I had no other choice but to get out of there and so my parents came to my help once again. Ugh, this has become much of a headache and hopefully before April I will find a place of my own and be ready for the kids when they get here then. Other than that, I do not hear anymore from my ex-roomie who still owes me in her share of two months rent and who has taken a few things from my stuff when we moved...in otherwords, TRUST NO ONE, even those you think you have known for quite sometime.) Some of you might know that I did have a job over the holidays...well, unfortunately, that job is over since it was only seasonal. I was hoping that since I worked my butt off for them, they might let me stay there but they decided to hire someone else in my place who was only there for like three weeks when I was there for almost two months. I hate it when jobs choose their favorites to keep employed after season. So I was layed off just before the new years and since all of the state and federal places were closed on tuesday in recognition of President Ford's funeral, I had to wait till Wed to get anything done...that was not a good day to go to the employment office to file for unemployment and find a job...I tell ya. But I at least found many jobs to choose from. On the good side of this new week in 2007, my kids are adapting to a new living area with thier father and his new family. At first, Jake was a little homesick but I am sure that that happens to every child when they are away from thier regular everyday home. Sammy I guess, fit in really well and she was trying to make Jake feel a lot more comfortable with thier new home too. The kids are happy and they are learning new things in this new lifestyle and I hope the best for them, too. As for myself, I just have to be here and get some stuff done so that I will not have to worry about not being able to pay my bills this time. I hope I will find that right job. But other than that, I hope you all had a wonderful new years and lets hope that things will change for all of us this year.

Goose bumps

A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps.. A drunk man in an Oldsmobile They said had run the light That caused the six-car pileup On 109 that night. When broken bodies lay about "And blood was everywhere," "The sirens screamed out eulogies," For death was in the air. "A mother, trapped inside her car," Was heard above the noise; Her plaintive plea near split the air: "Oh, God, please spare my boys!" She fought to loose her pinned hands; "She struggled to get free," But mangled metal held her fast In grim captivity. Her frightened eyes then focused "On where the back seat once had been," But all she saw was broken glass and Two children's seats crushed in. Her twins were nowhere to be seen; "She di d not hear them cry, " "And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, " "Oh, God, don't let them die! " Then firemen came and cut her loose, " "But when they searched the back, " "They found therein no little boys, " But the seat belts were intact. They thought the woman had gone mad "And was traveling alone, " "But when they turned to question her, " They discovered she was gone. Policemen saw her running wild And screaming above the noise "In beseeching supplication, " Please help me find my boys! They're four years old and wearing blue shirts; "Their jeans are blue to match."" "One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car, " And they don't have a scratch. They said their daddy put them there "And gave them each a cone, " Then told them both to wait for Mom To come and take them home. "I've searched the area high and low, " But I can't find their dad. "He must have fled the scene, " "I guess, and that is very bad." "The mother hugged the twins and said, " "While wiping at a tear, " "He could not flee the scene, you see, " "For he's been dead a year." "The cop just looked confused and asked, " "Now, how can that be true? " "The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came " "And left a kiss for you."" " He told us not to worry "And that you would be all right, " And then he put us in this car with "The pretty, flashing light. " "We wanted him to stay with us, " "Because we miss him so, " "But Mommy, he just hugged us tight " And said he had to go. He said someday we'd understand "And told us not to fuss, " "And he said to tell you, Mommy, " "He's watching over us." The mother knew without a doubt "That what they spoke was true , " "For she recalled their dad's last words, " " I will watch over you." The firemen's notes could not explain "The twisted, mangled car, " And how the three of them escaped Without a single scar "But on the cop's report was scribed, " "In print so very fine, " An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

Big people words!

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use "Big People words." She then asked little Zach what he had done. I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" [I love this] Zach thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT"
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he Did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you." (For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.) Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? Just "do it". Random acts of kindness, I think they call it? Next time you are contemplating being judgmental about someone remember this story. I will.....
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