I want peace and love, but I also want people to stay away. So, namaste the fuck off my lawn.

"Take off that big ass hat or I'm gonna fucking drop you!!!" -John Wilkes Boothe (probably)

I was gonna make a gay joke, butt fuck it. It's 2021, I mean, cum on guys...

ICE is gonna do their raid, do da do da The land of plenty starts to fade, oh the do da day...

Two men ran off a cliff chasing Pokemon, a girl was hit by a car chasing Pokemon... natural selection at it's finest...

Is bastardy a word? Cause I'm feeling bastardy today... oh, and stabby...

Getting fucking sick of not being able to leave comments!!!

Well, Fubar has let us go from getting 100 drinks, to 30 drinks, to about 13 drinks a day. But lets us spend 10,000 Fubucks or more to send them. That fucking sucks...

I can't comment on anything or leave profile comments due to a dumbass... sorry

Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!

Well, I can't comment on anyone's profile any more because of some butthurt pussy out there. Fuck you ;)

People are so damned whiny...

Smile, it's the second best thing to do with your mouth ;)

The Easter Bunny saw it's shadow... 6 more weeks of sin and chocolate...

I'm getting together a charity concert for people who have trouble reaching orgasm, so please.... let me know if you can't come...

Sex jokes are not funny... I mean, cum on people... o.O

It's an awful feeling lying beside the one you love, knowing they don't love you back... or that you're in their house again...

If me masturbating bothers you, maybe you should sit somewhere else on the bus...

Women's feet can tell a man how she feels about him. For example, if they are behind his ears, she probably likes him...

Happy Gobble til you Wobble Day!!