As I'm leaving work today: Me - Hey boss, want some updog? Boss - Whats that whats up dog? Me - Chillin whats up dawg Laughing boss - Go home!

Nothing quite like being told I'm late for a 4am meeting at 4:15 that no one told me about. Have a good day ya'll!

I had a joke about boxing, but I forgot the punch line.

Whats the difference between an envelope and a window? No one looks at you funny when you lick an envelope.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

9:45am. Perfect time for booze and a 420 friendly smoke outside.

Mental note to self: Sleeping on the keyboard isn't amusing.

Tired and its 7pm wtf