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Wesley's blog: ""

created on 10/29/2010  |  http://fubar.com/-/b337388

Hmmmm...

I'm not going to say that what I'm about to type is a thought but more than just a thought, I've been in Tennessee for a few years, I see men and wemen together and I ask myself "Are those two really happy with each other and if not, who's the one thats happy and who's the one thats wearing a mask? I also see at times that both partners are not happy and remain together for other reasons, from where I can see (which is on the outside looking in), the reasons just don't make no sence at all to me. The Kids, Money or something to do until something or someone better comes along, I have seen, and been through this. I wish to be happy with someone I love and loves me, the kids will be taken care of reguardless, thats what I want... It's out there but where? I wish there were directions to it but oh, well...

My 100% Woman...

I hear people talk about what they want in a reletionship, it's almost like a never ending story, there are people that look for 100% of what they are looking for and there are the ones that settle for 50% and there are the Hopeless Romantics (such as myself) that try their best to appreciate the 10% to 30% which means that they must look over the wrong that person does and keep on trying to the point that they end up fading away from that 10% to 30% they thought they could deal with, I've never made it to 40% because I don't look at the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts to me. Before I got to where I am now, I tride to piece together that 100% and as long as I was willing to run across town to get what I was looking for to comfort me, it equaled me having my 100%, in other words, when I was back in St. Louis, MO. I had 5 diffrent wemen but slept with only one, there was one that I could talk to about anything = 20%, there was one that didn't mind cooking for me = 20%, there was one that only wanted to paint the town and hang out and have fun = 20%, there was another that didn't mind cleaning up my place and washing my cloths from time to time = 20% and one that just wanted sex = 20%. I was the happiest man in the world for as long as I was willing to run cross town to get that 20% of comfort I was looking for, you want to know a secret... It didn't last very long because I went to the wrong woman for the wrong thing and my 100% dropped to 80% I found out ( the hard way) that two of these wemen worked together and they got to talking to each other and guess what... Yep, that's right, 60% it was the 40% that I enjoyed the most "The Talk to about anything with" and "The Having a good time with" I tried to fill those two empty slots with other wemen but failed BADLY, it led me to being "Antisocial" but it didn't stop there, the one that cooked for me found out from a woman that I tried to fill the social slot with about me and didn't want me around anymore and I got a message from the one that cleans and washes for me that she heard about what I had done, she wanted me to come by and see her just to say that she no longer wanted to do that anymore that dropped to 20% that left the one that I was having sex with so that led to me being a "Home Body" because that 20% came to my house when she or I was in the mood after which, when we were all done she went home to her kids and husband and since sex wasn't everything, I dropped her off as well and started to find that 40 to 60% but only was able to find that 30% that came with that 70% of stupidity and selfishness, if there is a silver lining in this, can somebody point it out to me? Plaese... Or maybe I'm in the wrong place and need a change of surroundings, maybe that will do it... Tennessee, here I come...

I just don't know...

What is it when someone dose something wrong to another someone and as time passes on, the one that did the wrong wants to return to that very person and try to correct himself or herself with the one they did wrong? What would I call it?... Two things... That person with the shallow mind found himself/herself in the wrong and feels, that they must try to befriend that person and perhaps start a second relationship with that someone because their eyes have open to see that person for what they really are. The other thing is, that shallow minded person wants another chance at trying to get something or take advantage of that someone for something greater. I just don't know, the only way you can tell is by looking in thier eyes because the eyes never lie, I suppose the eyes are like God (Incapable of telling a Lie) Thats how I can tell if that person is real about apoligizing to me and wants another chance. At this time in my life Im not in the boat alone, one man did a woman wrong and wishes to correct himself and one woman did me wrong and wishes to do the same, even though the wrong doers are true about what they say, the question is this "Do we want to give them the space to correct themselves?" I just don't know...

Dang...

I can't believe you left me alone in this darkness to feel my way though the rubble you disappeared and left me in... I wanted to go with you but I guess it was'nt in your plan to allow me to fly away with you, I walk around with my head down kicking cans with a frown because the sun went down never to come up again, the moon shines through the shattered windows of my life that reminds me of the good memories we had together, I smerk because I'm to hurt to smile but it only stays for a short while and it hurts even more when it drops from my face to the ground and breaks like cheap glass... I will never find the kind of light you shined through my life, so now I'm stuck with dealing with the blinking of small flickers that I pray will light my way for at least one day, now I stand in aganizing pain because I got word your last name has changed to Jayne, I walk in the dark in the rain to remain sane because I gotta keep moving to make a better change in my life and hope you do the same... Dang...

To me from her and back

From her to me

IF YOU WANNA UNDERSTAND ME UNDERSTAND THIS ...Ten commandments for a responsible pet owner" 1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you will be painful. 2. Give me time to understand what you want of me. 3. Place your trust in me. 4. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment, you have your work, your friends and your entertainment. I ONLY HAVE YOU. 5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand the words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me. 6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it. 7. Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to. 8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me, perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been out in the sun to long, or my heart may be getting old and weak. 9. Take care of me when I get old, You too will grow old. 10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or " let it happen in my absence". Everything is easier for ME If you are there. Remember, I LOVE YOU.

From me to her

First of all, if I have to hit you, I don't need you but I do because I love too and would be ever so greatful to show how much, to you and only you because there's one of me and one of you, believe me when I say and show you... I love you.

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