I'm 6' tall, 160, (tall skinny guy)

Blue eyes

Darker short hair (thank you Army) with a 5 week shadow. (yeah, I'm babyfaced, at least when I'm 40 I'll still get carded at the bar)

I grew up in Colorado and Oregon, I just recently moved here from Washington, where I went to my first two years of college. I spent a short stint in the Army, but was discharged due to family and medical problems. (nothing weird, I have low cartilage in my knees, that's why I couldn't play catcher in baseball)

People accurately describe me as confident blunt, sarcastic, to the point, and sometimes an asshole in the most endearing way, (I'm a pilot, they wont allow you in the cockpit of a plane without a cloud of false or true arrogance following you around like Tom Cruise's gay thoughts in that episode of Family Guy) . I've also been called sweet, told I have a big heart (sometimes to a fault), polite, friendly, and a gentleman. I will open the door for you, I love cooking, and I'm a big fan of cuddling up in a cold room under a blanket with a movie. I'm working my way through an Aviation school, I'm very smart, very open (unless it involves religion, for I am a strong atheist and love to argue my opposition to all forms), I am registered as an independent and will not accept any criticism for it, however, it takes a lot to offend me, I am always full of energy, and pretty Goddamn funny. I smoke, I drink, I am a great talker, thinker, and I study and practice rhetoric. I have very little to no fashion sense, but I promise you I wear clean clothes. I drive a beamer, play bass, and poorly sing in the shower. I am financially secure, know EXACTLY what I want in life, and will not change for anyone. I enjoy simple pleasures, GOOD beer, movies, pizza, steak. I love to camp, hike, bike, run, and hit the gym. I love getting dirty and I love playing and watching sports. I love playing drinking games at home, but I will not buy alcohol that comes in a plastic bottle or so called 'bitch beer'. I do enjoy going to the bars (love the Crescent on Franklin), and very rarely, a club. I know how to have a romantic dinner as well as a fun one. I can be a bit of a nerd, I love a little xbox, yes I play WoW, no I don't talk about it all the time or spend days on end playing it. I love a good drive blasting good music, and having an intellectual conversation. I love concerts, local bands or big bands. I like to mosh and wake up wishing I was dead the next day. Hangovers to me are a fact of life, and just prove I had some fun the night before. I am a coffee snob, a beer snob, and I'm very skilled in pool and beer pong. I have one tattoo, I want more. I have a problem overusing the comma when I write. I'm not cocky or arrogant, but I'm sure I give off that vibe unfortunately.. see below. I wont consider myself too good for you based upon appearances alone.


So this is what I am looking for...

Around 18-23, I'm very mature, you should be too.

At least 5' tall, I'm 6' so a foot shorter and all I can see is a place to rest my beer, or my elbow.

Please be CLEAN. I don't smell (unless its like a cigarette sometimes, and never overly so) and I don't want to be out with the smelly girl... I endured that in middle school, never again.
Also, please have all or nearly all of your teeth. I love my smile, I notice smiles first. If there are some nicotine stains, fine, I have them too.

Please be fun, have plenty of energy, and above all a good sense of humor. I love teasing, I love to poke fun, if you cant take it or dish it back, you aren't my type, move to the next post. I don't do potty humor, if you must pass gas, do it quietly please, I don't want to be sitting at a movie with the girl that let one rip and offended half the room then laughed about it. Embarrassment is fun, I hope you can take it, but please have class.

Also very important, in fact the most important thing of all, is intelligence, I'm a smart guy, I got 97% on my asvab, 600+in all sections of the sats, and that was with a hangover. If you are an idiot, I cant see myself with you I'm so sorry. If you are smarter than me, that's wonderful, intelligence is the most sexy thing a person can exhibit. I don't want to suffer through a two line email with 35 spelling errors.

I cant stand clingy bullshit or jealousy; I have a lot of female friends, I text a lot of those female friends. If you bitch when I pull out my phone, take a hike. The term 'bros before hoes' holds no gender connotations.

I also cant stand making plans and all, and then having them canceled, even if it is a quick idea, don't say it if you won't go through with it. If you say you want me to come get you or you want to do something, don't bail.. that's a dealbreaker unless there's a good reason.

You must have self respect and care about your appearance I'm not shallow, hope you aren't either, but I'm sorry cellulite does not attract me, and appearances always help with the first impression/attraction.. if you weigh 900 lbs and don't know what a bicycle is, no thank you.. I'm an active IN SHAPE person, I have a 22.4 BMI, and a 16% body fat percentage. No I do not have a six pack, but I definitely don't have a keg. That said, you don't have to be perfect, but I will not hang out with someone who is obese. I know the translations for HWP, BBW and curvy. Nine times out of ten, you may replace those terms with 'overweight' and I don't find that healthy. It may sound like a dick thing to say, but I don't want anything to do with someone who has no regard for their health.

Tattoos are great, don't overdo it, piercings follow the same rule. Hair color, eye color, not important.. Just something somewhat natural is preferable.

Style doesn't matter to me in the slightest either, in fact, a girl in basketball shorts, skating shoes, and a tank top with a pony tail and riding a long board is one of the hottest things on earth.

Yes, I have money, no, that money is not for you, I am seeking someone who is as financially independent as I am. Not saying I wont buy dinner, but those nine inch stilettos you saw at that ritzy Paris Hilton infested shithole of a store are yours to buy, God knows I'm not wearing them, in fact, I hate heels.

I cannot stand someone who isn't self confident. If you need your guy to tell you how wonderful you look 24/7, its not me. I'll say it when its due, the rest of the time, I expect you to assume I believe it's so.

I want someone who can put up a decent fight and take care of themselves, I'm not a bodyguard, I'm a skinny little white dude.. You fight your fights I'll fight mine, deal?

I cannot stand girly girls. I take 5-10 minutes to get ready, if you take more than 15, no thank you. I don't want to date a dolled up clown, I want to date a person who is confident in their natural beauty. Plus I have always thought a girl was most beautiful looking pissed off right when they wake up and holding a cup of coffee and wearing a pair of my old ratty shorts and an army tee shirt.

If you can't have fun sipping on a good beer, munching pizza, and watching a movie or the game from time to time, don't bother me. I love going out, but I love staying in just as much.

If you do drugs, I don't mind... Don't offer pot to me, that's all I care about.

If you have a record, I don't care, I probably should have one, I just got lucky... At the same time, I don't want to deal with the jealous ex boyfriend gang-banger piece of garbage.

I hope you like cats cause I have one. He's 8 months old, his name is Beavis, and he's a pain in the butt... Especially if you lack the y chromosome. If you hate cats, its really not a big deal, he can hang in the back room if you are over.

If you are a stumbling moron of a drunk, no thank you.. I enjoy being drunk too, I want to be the stumbling moron, I'm not going to go out of my way to date someone who I have to babysit. I will hold your hair back, but you can bet there wont be much of a phone call the next day.

It would be awesome if you had your own place and drove, but neither is necessary as long as I don't have to ask daddy and mommy if you can come out to play, because I will not get you home by eleven every night.
I don't mind if you have children, but I'm not looking to be daddy and would prefer you got a sitter when hanging with me... I mean no offense but me and babies and little kids never get along, so I'd rather not have to spend too much time with them right away.


So that's all, I'm not picky, just sure of what I want. I'd like to start this off as buddies, not looking to get married to the next person I meet, If you fail to meet ONE or TWO of these criteria, let me know and I'll decide if its worth it. Regardless of all of the smartass comments in this post, I promise I'm a nice guy. I have been called sweet by more people than just my mother. I just feel the use of sarcasm and clear language is necessary to get exactly what I'm looking for across.