Many of you have asked me what got me into porn, and I am prepared to give you full disclosure. I graduated high school when I was 16, and soon after I received my license in Reflexology. That’ll come into play in a little bit..
At the first spa I worked at, I had people asking me all the time for happy endings. I felt a little insulted, and brushed off their request instantly. My first real introduction into the adult world was when I was 17, and I had a secretary job. When I first applied for the job I didn’t realise it was more of a “sexretary†position rather than secretary. Have any of you ever seen the movie “The Secretary� Its similar to the movie in the sense that it involved sadomasochism. At the start of the job I wasn’t very sexually experienced, so it made me vulnerable and I’m sure I was seen in a very submissive light. Oddly enough I never actually slept with my boss. This job made me very curious about my sexuality, and what interests I had. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being “punished†and what not, and I still have things in that realm that I’m interested in trying (hence I’m looking forward to doing a little fetish work eventually). But he is the one who influenced me to head into the adult world.
I left the spa I was working at a month or two before I started the secretary position, and began doing outcall massages. It allowed me to work whatever and however many hours I pleased, be picky about my clientele, allowed me to make more than twice what I was making before, etc. Not too long after my boss made me more curious about my sexuality, I also had someone who needed some help financially. I knew the kind of money I could potentially make, but I just didn’t want to be.. that person. After being approached by yet another needy man, I didn’t immediately shut it down. I knew the position I was in, and I knew the promises that I needed to fulfill to my friend in need. I also always had a secret curiosity of it from reading a blog on an erotic masseuse when I was younger. This time I was backed into a corner (don’t worry), and a little naive. Its almost as if I couldn’t say no.. for whatever reason. But I’ve learned a lot from that day, and from other situations I put myself in relating to the same thing. A lot of people say they’re two different worlds, yet after being part of both, I’ve found that they are very similar. So when I found myself doing porn, no, it wasn’t like me, but at the same time it wasn’t much different from what I was doing before – except for the fact that it was on camera. The massages were also like porn because it’s a period of my life that I don’t look back on feeling proud of myself, but regardless of everything else, I enjoyed it.. I enjoyed it very much. And at the end of the day isn’t that what really matters?
The final step.
I flew down to South Florida last summer with my best friend. I, for a two day weekend getaway, and she, to test out the porn business. I fell in love with the area the first day I was down here! What I find to be the funniest thing is that I wasn’t even too keen on coming down in the first place. But hey, everything happens for a reason, right? One of the head people from Reality Kings saw me, and offered me a contract before I even shot for anyone! I felt very blessed. Personally, I would never wish any part of the business on anyone. As they say, every blessing is a curse. I know I’m very lucky to have received such an opportunity like this, just remember that it isn’t all a cakewalk.
The weirdest thing about me doing porn is the fact that I used to have my nose up in the air about the subject. I never had anything against performers, but I thought that it degraded relationships. I also see the other side of things – its obviously better than going out and physically cheating on your partner. A long term boyfriend when I was younger seemed to watch porn a lot (or so I thought at the time), and it gave me many uncertainties – perhaps even a few insecurities. Looking back I believe that is another big reason as to why I started down a path that eventually led me to the industry. All of those other men made me realise that there was no reason why I wasn’t good enough for the aforementioned (ex) boyfriend. And after coming to that conclusion I miraculously discovered something that was very new, and useful in life – COMMUNICATION! Anyways.. I found that I liked being the one on the screen rather than the one wondering why he’s looking at the screen instead of me. Selfish? Maybe a little..
So, now you know. Now stop judging me, you hypocritical bitches. just kidding. Think what you want.. but I don’t regret a day of it. It was all great fun, and I learned a lot about myself, other people, and life. One of the best things was that I gained knowledge, and received insight on other peoples perspectives about many things. I will cherish those lessons, evermore. I am happy to say that I’m sure any of you could walk into my life, I, with open arms.. and at least I would be able to understand, even if I didn’t agree.