4 Tips For Keeping A Woman's Attention
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and attracting women, just go here:
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***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
Hi Dave,
Great stuff. The more I use it the better it
works and the more the women enjoy it. I'll try
to keep this short. I've found that keeping C&F as
the main focus makes me (and the woman) much less
nervous when I've arrived at a woman's house. For
example, the last girl I was with kept apologizing
for how messy her place was. Doesn't she
understand that I'm a guy and I'm not looking at
the stuff on the floor I'm just planning to add
what she's wearing to the mess? Anyway, I used a
line from you and a fellow DYD fan and told her
not to apologize just not to let it happen again.
Instant karma. Kept it up and the clothes came
off. Well, this takes me to my question.
I met the messy apartment girl a few weeks ago,
got her number, called her a few days later and
set up a date. Things went swimmingly, used the
C&F and ended up at her place. All good. My
question is, what is your advice on calling after
having spent the night with a woman? Call her the
next day, which is what all my female friends say
is the chivalrous (but possibly wussy) thing to
do? Wait a few days? And what if one has decided
not to give her everything she wants on the first
night and just fooled around? Same follow-up
policy? Should it always be a call or is email
OK? What should the tone be? C&F no doubt.
Cheers,
Less wussy more...
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, it sounds to me like you're actually
asking a slightly different question than you have
asked.
What I hear you asking is: "If I meet a girl
that I actually LIKE, what should I do after we
first get together to make sure that we KEEP
getting together?"
And this is a great question.
I personally think:
1) Most guys "settle" for the women that they wind
up with in long-term relationships.
2) When you begin to understand women and have
more success, you start to realize that MOST women
ARE NOT the type that you'd be HAPPY with long-
term.
3) When you have gone through the process of
learning how to be more successful with women and
make them feel that magical emotion called
ATTRACTION... and then you finally DO meet a woman
you really like, you have to handle the situation
in the right way if you want to keep her.
You've asked me a whole bunch of specific
questions, like how long should you wait to call,
whether to call or email, tone, etc.
It sounds to me like you actually LIKE this
particular girl, and would like to pursue this in
a "let's see if this turns into something" kind of
way.
With that in mind, I think you need to realize
a few things about what a woman EXPECTS you to
do...
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"secret" of keeping a woman attracted to you, then
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Back to my point...
If you're dealing with an attractive woman,
then you must remember that you're not the first
guy who has ever been interested in her.
In fact, she's probably approached all the time
by guys, and she probably has a lot of experience
with guys who want to "get involved" with her.
This is one of those funny situations that
works in kind of a backwards way (not unlike many
other aspects of male/female relationships,
actually).
If you meet an attractive girl, you can be
pretty sure of a few things:
1) She gets approached by men, one way or another,
all the damn time.
2) 99% of the men that she meets and dates wind up
following her around like puppies... either from
the beginning or eventually.
3) When a guy acts "too nice - too soon", she sees
this as a sign of neediness and weakness, and
she's repelled by it.
I realize that this is going to sound like some
kind of bizarre Zen self-help B.S., but sometimes
you have to push things away from you gently in
order to bring them to you.
And beautiful women fall into this category.
At my last couple of Double Your Dating LIVE!
Seminars, I asked a simple question:
"How do you make someone want something?"
Have you ever thought about that concept?
Why is it that people WANT things in the first
place, and how can you actually MAKE someone want
something?
When you think about the things that YOU want,
and then ask yourself WHY you want those things,
you'll begin to realize why this is such a
profound question.
Why is it that Coke has dominated the cola
market when we all know that Pepsi wins the taste
tests?
Why is it that people in Los Angeles buy so
many four-wheel drive SUVs?
Why is it that some nightclubs keep people
outside in line for hours when there's plenty of
room inside the club?
Well, I obviously can't go into an in-depth
explanation of why these things are so, but I
think it's obvious that:
1) Most of the things that people "want" aren't
for the most logical reasons.
2) We humans only "want what we don't have"... and
once we get what we want, we quickly get bored.
3) Even knowing that something is readily
available to us makes us lose interest.
So why such a long explanation?
Why not just tell you when to call her, what to
say, and what tone to use?
Because even if you know the exact right words
to say, and the exact right time to say them, the
woman you're talking to will still be able to pick
up what you're REALLY thinking if you don't
understand how and why women become attracted to
men.
Here are a few ways to make a person want
something:
1) Create a challenge.
2) Give her a little, then lean back.
3) Give her the gift of missing you.
4) Be unpredictable.
When you create a challenge, you really ENGAGE
a woman's mind and emotions.
Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men that are
push-over Wuss Bags. Women feel ATTRACTION for men
who are a CHALLENGE.
When you give a woman a little bit, then lean
back, then you set up a "Hey, I want more of that"
situation.
If you just keep pouring on the attention and
giving her everything she wants, you'll become
uninteresting.
When you give a woman the "Gift of missing
you", you realize that for women, thinking about,
missing, and anticipating the next time is often
even more powerful than the actual EXPERIENCE of
"the next time".
Men often get insecure, and feel that they have
to call and keep an eye on a woman all the time.
This is a huge mistake. It says all the wrong
things.
When you're UNPREDICTABLE, you do something
that is almost MAGIC... when a man understands how
to make a woman feel ATTRACTION, then he doesn't
do things that are PREDICTABLE, women will tend to
think about him ALL THE TIME.
Things that are predictable don't require much
thought. They're uninteresting and boring.
Things that are UNPREDICTABLE, on the other
hand, require a LOT of thought. Unpredictable
things are FASCINATING to people... especially
women.
What makes a movie lame?
Predictability.
What makes a movie great?
A well-written story that ISN'T predictable.
Predictability and BORING-NESS are the enemies
of ATTRACTION.
Here are a few thoughts on the questions you
asked:
1) If you call her the next day, be cool about it.
Don't try to be too "suave", and don't try to set
up another date immediately. Call and say, "Hey,
what's up?" Make a little small talk, then hang
up. Lean back, and she'll be thinking about you
for the next several days (if you didn't act like
a dumb-ass the night before, that is).
2) If you email, keep it light as well. In this
day and age, I find it natural to email or call.
3) Your TONE should be cool, calm, laid back,
busy, and upbeat. Never complain about things,
whine, or act like you're in a bad mood and need
attention.
4) Be very cool about this. Don't act like you
might want to get married within 90 days, or like
you've met the woman of your dreams. Give her some
space, and the gift of missing you.
5) For the first 10 dates or so, don't see her
more than once or twice a week. Stay busy with
your life, and always have things going on.
6) Until you decide that you really like a
particular woman and want to "settle down" with
her, or have a long-term relationship, don't focus
too much energy on the relationship. If you're
dating other women, don't stop. When you focus all
of your energy and time on a woman that you've
just met, it often creeps them out and makes them
run.
Use these concepts HOWEVER you decide to
communicate with her.
And by the way, if you're reading this right
now and you'd like to get a POWERFUL education on
the topic of women, dating, and ATTRACTION, then I
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In it, I spend over 12 hours going into great
detail and teaching the exact, step-by-step
process of communicating with women in a way that
triggers their SEXUAL ATTRACTION mechanism... and
how to KEEP it triggered.
I also teach you exactly what to do when you're
being tested by women... to turn her tests into
even MORE ATTRACTION for you.
You'll also learn HUNDREDS of specific
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I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
