Slippery when wet A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips over and lands spread legged on the bathroom floor. She tries to stand up again but realizes that she landed so hard that her vagina has stuck to the floor creating such a vacuum that she can't move.She calls out to her husband for help. He tries with all his strength to lift her up but she won't budge. So he goes next door and gets the neighbor. Both of them are pulling like oxen but she just won't move. She is truly stuck to the floor.Suddenly the neighbor says,"Why don't we just get a hammer and break the tiles around her legs and lift her that way?""Great idea," says the husband,"But let me rub her boobs a little to arouse her.""Why?" asks a confused neighbor."She'll need the lubrication so I can slide her over into the kitchen. The tiles are cheaper in there."
There once was a couple of newlyweds named John and Wendy. John told his wife Wendy that he wanted a tattoo! Wendy agreed and said that would be ok. John did not know what the tattoo should say or where he would put it. So Wendy said,"Well, if you REALLY loved me, you would get my name tattooed on your pecker."John couldn't back out on that one, so he went to the tattoo parlor. The tattoo artist told him that he needed to have an erection while he put it on. After an hour of excruciating pain, the tattoo was done.As John was on his way home from the tattoo parlor he saw a rest stop and decided he needed to stop and take a leak. He went to the restroom and looked down to admire his tattoo and he noticed, that when he was not erect, the only letters that were visible, were the W and the Y.Suddenly, a big black gentleman steps into the urinal beside John and John accidentally looked down at the guy and could not help but notice that he ALSO had the letters W and Y tattooed.So John said"Hey, I guess you have a girlfriend or wife named Wendy too."The guys looked confused and said,"What makes you think that?" John replied"Well I noticed the W and the Y tattoo -- so you don't have a girlfriend named Wendy?" The black guys laughed and responded,"No mon, that tattoo says,"Welcome to Jamaica! Have a nice day."
