August 25, 2006, 10:36:pm
Some people may ask "Why in the heck would you allow yourself to get so fat!?", Well I guess I'll answer that tonight.
Its called depression. Low self esteem. Loosing all hope. Being out of your mind with grief over the loss of loved ones. Surviver of abuses. And many many other reasons. Each purrson has their reasons why they get fat. I've listed some of mine only.
Did I want to get fat?
No.
It happened though. I've always struggled with my weight. I wasn't a blimp, even though it felt like it. I can't remember a time in my life, other then when I came out of the Army, that people were encouraging concerning my wieght. The only time I can honestly say I remember a positive comment was from my grandmother, as I gained about 20 lbs after army. She said I looked fantastic.
I think my life would have been different had I simply been told as a child "Your pretty no matter what you weight. Are you happy with your looks? You should be." Its called being positive, encouraging. I wasn't fat as a child/teenager. I was no more then 30 to 40 pounds over what people call "goal" weight.
Goal weight. What a farse. You tell me why I was, as a nearly 6 foot tall woman, with big boobs, wide hips and round tushie (in other words I was curvy before I got fat) expected to be the exact same weight as someone who has no boobs, rail thin hips and a boney ass hard enough to break chairs.
Its a frigging joke!
I mean common, can you really see a woman with 44 ddd bra size being the exact same weight as someone 25 a bra size of same height? Didn't think so. So why do doctors group us all in the same frigging goal weight ranges?
I must admit tho that people don't always realize what they are doing to their kids, family, friends and even people they don't know when they get on them about being over weight.
My mother cried when I finally told her a couple years before she died about how I felt with her being on me about loosing weight. We both cried. She appolgized. I forgave, but was never able to actually forget.
In some ways thats good tho. This is only my 2nd entry and I've already had 2 comments from complete strangers, both positive, even made one young lady smile. That right there alone makes it all worth it.
Opps, did it again hehehe. Think I'm gonna start calling myself, SideTrackedKatt hehehe.
My mother never meant to hurt me. She just didnt want me to have bad health. Thats understandable, and I'm quite sure almost everyone out there that does tell others to loose weight its because they honestly do care about the purrson. They just go about it the wrong way! The way that leaves mental scars for life.
If you feel you must tell someone to loose weight, stop and think. Look at them and see them as they are, not as you think they should be.
Do they really need to loose weight, such as myself being over 200 pounds over standard *shudders* weight.
Or are they simple a few 20 or 30 pounds or so over standard *shudders again* weight.
Is there a sparkle in their eyes? If there is LEAVE IT THERE! If there isn't, help put a sparkle there.
A simple compliment can change a life. A simple put down can destroy a life.
More to be written later.
Mood:Stressed
