This is something called 'the Rabbit Joke' that a friend of a friend of mine told him, and that he, in turn, told me. (At least some violence to animals within...)
I call it a shaggy-dog joke since I tend to elaborate it more and more every single time I tell it...
(ERM.)
Anyhow, as I was saying.
(ERM.)
Mr. Wolf was returning one day from his work in the deeper deepest forest.
(Never mind. I'm gone... back when this spout of gone-from-reason is over...)
He had had a bad day.
One of his coworkers had been chewed out by the boss (and then chewed up, just not by the boss.)
None of his forms had been processed correctly. Blasted 'computers.' Crashers that occasionally worked...
His monthly paycheck looked like it was going to be, well, bimonthly. At best.
Mr. Wolf was not in one of his better moods.
He returned in general direction of home, and crossed paths with Mr. Rabbit.
Mr. Rabbit was, as usual, non-chalant, bouncy, happy-go-lucky, carefree, and generally seemed not to have a thought in his head.
This seemed to grate a bit on Mr. Wolf. The moreso considering the day.
Mr. Wolf watched Mr. Rabbit bounce from plant to plant, picking flowers, eating this and that, humming merrily quietly.
Mr. Wolf getting more and more annoyed allthewhile.
Mr. Wolf walked over to Mr. Rabbit. 'Hello,' said Mr. Wolf.
'Hihihi!,' Mr. Rabbit exclaimed.
'Where's your hat?'
'?'
And Mr. Wolf beat Mr. Rabbit up.
Mr. Rabbit was a while recovering from his injuries, and in a few weeks sought out the policeman of the forest, Mr. Bear. He told Mr. Bear how Mr. Wolf had approached him, had greeted him, had asked him 'Where's your hat?' and had assaulted him.
Mr. Bear thought this over as Mr. Rabbit left. He liked Mr. Rabbit, but he liked Mr. Wolf more, and was on good terms with him and his family. All at once a solution began to come to his mind.
So it was that Mr. Wolf heard a knock on his door.
He opened his door, and Mr. Bear was there, in his uniform of office.
'Ah hello, officer. What may I do for you?'
'Hello, Mr. Wolf. How're the wife and kids?'
'Oh, fine, fine. But this isn't a social call, is it?'
'No, no, but not so urgent that there's no room for the amenities, either. It's about Mr. Rabbit, really.'
'AH.'
'Yes. You really can't just go up to someone, for no reason, ask him 'Where's your hat?,' and assault him.'
'Well, I should at the least apologize...' said Mr. Wolf- and Mr. Bear winked, and held up a hand. For his conscience had had to fight with his friendship...
'I think you misunderstand me... this is what I'd suggest doing instead. *conspiratorial whisper* You should tell Mr. Rabbit,
Hey Rabbit! I want a cigarette!'
'And if he gives you an unfiltered cigarette,' continued Mr. Bear, 'you say,'
'Thanks, but are you trying to send me to an early grave? and you beat him up!'
'but if he gives you a filtered cigarette,' he concluded, 'you say,'
'Gee, I appreciate your concern for my health an' all, but I like the taste of unfiltered!... and you beat him up!'
Mr. Wolf liked this idea. Rather.
So Mr. Wolf visited the recovering Mr. Rabbit. Who looked, somewhat bleary- and wary-eyed.
And Mr. Wolf said, "Hey, rabbit! Gimme a cigarette!"
And Mr. Rabbit said, "Filtered or unfiltered?"
And Mr. Wolf said, "Where's your hat?"
(EDIT: (Though I'm disinclined to follow that with anything...)
There used to be some places where the line "Where's your hat?" was by way of a calling card for me, and I only explained it, and told the joke, to friends. The newsgroup alt.fan.shostakovich back around 1997 comes to mind *g*)
