"Hello, baby," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you some."
"Listen," said the woman, nonplussed, "If you can hold it in one hand, I'm not interested."
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Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
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Two lawyers are leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one of them. "As soon as I walk in the door, I'm going to rip my wife's panties right off."
"I know the feeling," the other says.
"No, I'm serious," says the first. "They're killing me."
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"Doctor!" complained the patient. "I have a serious problem. I can never remember what I just said."
The doctor asked, "When did you first notice this problem?"
The patient replied, "What problem?"
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Two Iranians meet in Miami. One starts to greet the other in Farsi, the language of their native country. The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"
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An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
