I just opened an email from who I thought was an ex friend on Slap and Tickle. All it gave was a weblink. Curiosity aroused and I investigated only to find another friendship website. Instead of Slap and Tickle, it was Alternative Desire.
Heaven only knows why they think that because I gave up Slap and Tickle I want to replace it with Alternative Desire. Dream on and get a life sentence!
Ah well, back to business and reality. I posted ten books yesterday on a Sales and Return basis and here we are with yet another invoicing form of payment. He who has the compeetoes told me, just before he went to post the package, that he was looking at Sri Lanka for our 20th, er I mean 2nd, Wedding Anniversary. I think that this is going to absolutely skin the flint of us seeing as we are allegedly skint. Anyway, after working out that I would just about have caught up with the current holiday hand washing, I agreed.
Then off he who has the compeetoes went to post my parcel. When he who spends the compeetoes came back he told me that it had been sent normal mail and would get there sometime this year. After I had given him a questioning look he explained that it would cost an arm and leg to send it parcel post!
Well, I expect then that the holiday is really going to be Economy Seven instead of Cloud Nine and after pointing this out the air went electric, he saw red.
He denied this explaining that it would be a scheduled flight and all I can say is that his Mother was right. She used to say, "He will fight you for a penny and then give you a pound." Yes, so he does. Some things never change either because he also has short arms and long pockets, the latter scheduled for a shortening and the former due for a long haul and as for me, well I am in for a long stretch of the imagination thinking of Slap and Tickle as well as Alternative Desires, long hauls and stitched up pockets.
Speaking of Alternative Desire and Life Sentences, I thought, literally and laterally, that if I had a prison sentence then at least I could get some writing done in peace as long as the warders did not walk along bashing the bars with enamel cups.
