despite the cliché
our eyes meet in a crowded room
except i’m up on stage performing my poetry
& he’s down in the audience watching
i’m saying the words
popping the syllables like so many pills
overdosing on far reaching symbolism
on stage …
controlling the crowd with slow motion sound waves
turning big budget action movie in your ear
but i realize he’s
ex-significant
& i’m
reading my all out vent poetry
inner rage turned inside out
like the muscle man in Anatomy 101
wondering what happened
to my skin...
he’s staring &
i mentioned earlier how
our eyes had met, how
he was watching me
watching me say nasty things about him
clever things about him
piercingly accurate things about him
sad & lonely things about us
but i couldn’t read him from where i was
i was way too high
i was like God
staring down at him in hell
& it was like
i could judge him
& i could be right
& my feelings, my motives
my emotions & intentions
were finally valid
because the crowd could feel me
& that applause was THEATRIC!
an opera of love & hate
destiny & reprisal!
that clapping fused into
the dramatic sound of a fat lady SINGING
to my ex ...
hitting that impossible frequency
that could crack that man’s
wineglass ego
i had him!
he was mine!
& i didn’t care about the slam!
i had won a far more
important contest!
the scores were nothing!
i-had-satisfaction!
i stepped down from the tower
i crossed the court through the cheering gauntlet
& he approached
coming to me with those incredible eyes of his
& he said
‘i still love your poetry’
i still love your poetry?
he still loves my poetry?
well he couldn’t love me
[apparently]
he couldn’t still love me
[obviously]
he didn’t think so highly of the woman
he broke like so many pencils!
he couldn’t apologize
or maybe accept that he could
have quite possibly
made a huge mistake in leaving me!
& that’s all he could say?
in the tumultuous thundering of applause
that made the world shake
from the very foundations of the Earth
all the way to the roof of space
that he still loved my poetry?
how about
i love you!
or
I'm sorry!
I’m Sorry!
I’M SORRY!
i looked back at him
& replied with a smile
‘thanks’
& walked away
m