I am such a smartass at work.
The company I do order entry/ customer service for does engraving, screen printing and digital printing. We’re a supplier who sell only to distributors who then sell it to the end user.
My job is to take orders as they are faxed in, match them up with proper artwork and name lists and determine if I now have all the information to be able to produce the order. Once that’s done I have it to one of my coworkers to continue or write it up for them if they are busy.
Most of the time I don’t’ get everything I need to proceed so we all do a lot of guesswork. And many times if they mess up on something it’s our fault.
In the front office our days are usually full of angry customers or just difficult customers. It’s stressful and much swearing and beating of desks is often heard.
So I decided to make people laugh.
I’m creating a religion based on Badges. I have a psalm, 4 commandments and now the beginning of “Genesis”.
Everytime I write something new I have to pass it around to certain people just to see them crack up. And so far, it hasn’t failed.
I figured I’d post my most recent, the “Genesis”.
In the beginning there was the Maker. And the Maker said “Let there be plastics.”. And there was and they were good. Then the Maker said, “Let there be metals.” And there were, and they were good. And the Maker said, “Let there be inks, bits, magnets, and pins.” And there were, and they were good.
And lo, the Maker created all these in four hours for it was as the Distributor demanded.
Yea, in the fifth hour the Maker waited for the Distributor took the privilege of sending only pieces of the prayer to be used to create the Sacred and Holy Badge.
And lo, in the eleventh hour the Maker was able to guess the missing pieces of the prayer and began the creation of the first Sacred and Holy Badge.
In that same eleventh hour the Distributor prayed to the Maker and stated that all was wrong, a fault of the Maker, and must be redone before the twelfth hour.
