There is something that has not been noted and that is about the olfactory system.
After surgery and during recovery I did get out of the house for evenings and it was before the smoking ban was in force. Consequently most places were pretty fog-filled with smoke. This was one of the least enjoyable times of my life due to the effect smelling this smoke had on me. It was really only this bad when the odour was from filter cigarettes. As soon as I smelled the smoke my face twitched on the right hand side and almost curled up. This was obviously a psychological reaction to the smell. It also made me feel quite nauseous.
I think this was caused or occurred in the first instance during my stay in hospital. Following surgery and once moving I was taken out into the main passage way and then further afield for the stair test. The first thing I noticed going towards the stairwell was the odour of cigarette smoke which was, quite honestly, quite nauseating. The lift areas was the place where patients were able to smoke, therefore it was pretty thick and all from plain filter tipped Cigarettes too.
This memory was the first one I had following the surgery of a nauseating odour and I think that is why it affected me so much afterwards. It was most unenjoyable going out not only in the evening but just walking around town because even out in the open air the same odour caused this effect.
Strangely the smell of roll-ups did not cause any such problem, even joysticks or the smell of barbeques or bonfires were not a problem. Therefore I put it down to that first memory the brain had after it had been altered. (I cannot think of the word that best describes the state of my brain following surgery - in a word or succinctly.) This is still a problem at times - word recall can be a little frustrating so in order not to halt progress I just put asterixes where the word is not forthcoming. At least the thought flow does not stop when I do this.
In respect of the smoke issue. Well it seems that time is a healer for everything because I can put up with it better, perhaps tolerate would be a better work, because I don’t put up with it especially when it is spoiling my meal or even time. Generally the way to get around this is to avoid the situation and that way it does not cause aggravation to either party. I think before surgery I would have just sat there and inwardly fumed and the outgoing fumes!
My patience thresholds have improved a little but I cannot put up with people going on and on about something. It gets irritating and I do have to control that, not saying anything, that is.
I have recently noticed that I get distracted quite easily and when this occurs I lose the thread. I still do not get the fear sensation in the pit of the stomach which can be a little dangerous but not life-threatening due to me still having one side of the fear centres intact. (Well that is how I see it.) I can, however, be very wound up, which seems to occur quite often now so I have to watch for that happening or I get over-anxious which leads to a feeling of being totally unsettled. Fortunately, as I said, I try to get away from situations or avoid them where possible and that way I can stay in a state of equilibrium - this is a state that is most conducive for the adrenal glands because they do not need additional stress due to the likelihood of it causing upset and maybe even a seizure.
I have recently been told, several times, that the seizures are life threatening which in itself is not a nice thing to be told. But on thinking about it, crossing the roads in India can be life-threatening, especially with only half of the fear centre there!! Anyway, I try to keep happy and unruffled in order not to get stressed out and things have been fine since the last one. Unfortunately, I do not make a note of them on a calendar anymore. That is something I do not miss and but for the fact that I actually note them here then I would never remember when they had occurred, the few that have occurred.
Actually, I do not record a lot of things now. I used to note when my menstrual cycle started, maybe to see if that was an original trigger, which it wasn’t. Then I suppose it was just a force of habit to do it especially now the menopause is occurring. The cycles usually run a three week course but can be four of five and the longest was over 20 weeks, as far as I can remember anyway. It is not important to remember that fact so it goes where things get filed in the brain for future reference but once filed there they generally are not easy to recall. This happens only if there was a special date or event when the cycle occurred.
I find it is not important to note things that have occurred even to not doing such a long-winded diary. Now I just jot a line down to remind me of a particular event or a punch line I want to remember for use in future writing. I don’t think that prior to surgery I would have been able to have acted on these new jottings. As I say I only put them down for future use in say writing letters or even writing stories.
One thing I am glad about is that when there is a writer’s block it clears suddenly and writing just flows. I have no idea why this is because I have no idea what causes writer’s block unless it is pathways that have become cluttered in the brain that cause the brain to be unable to pass that sort of thought - from the realms of fantasy that is. It is not problem writing everyday events but composing fantasy is different and therefore must use a different part of the brain maybe linked to the imagination.
Well, I think that is about it except that yesterday after a foggy time it was just like someone had wiped the lenses, opened the doors, windows and curtains and I was more alert than I have been for ages. This is with only five hours sleep, plus I had been drinking wine as well as doing a lot of work around the house and on the computer. Nothing seemed to bother me so it was fantastic to have such clarity of sight, thought and action. I noticed the barometric pressure was exceptionally high so will note this to see if the same thing occurs again. I don’t think it was anything to do with the alcohol but I could again be wrong. I know when you do drink it makes you more alert but recently alcohol has been making me incredibly sleepy and very unable to concentrate. I think mood affects the way alcohol reacts on the system which makes everything difficult to analyse when there is not a constant cause and effect!
Sorry for repeating myself but bear with me. In respect of not noting things, well I think that is down to the fact that I don’t think it important to do it anymore. It was probably a little like a form of compulsive behaviour before, although useful in respect of a diary, it served no other purpose to life. The most important thing is that it does not matter to me now if I do forget to write things down whereas before I would have been quite frantic and asked everyone if they could remember what we day on such and such a day or whenever. It was not essential so must have been a compulsion.
Now, that is definitely it again. Did I say I had not had any further seizures since the last one noted here? Well, that is correct. I am on 200mg lamictal twice daily. However, should any further seizures occur then I will again increase up to as much as 400mg twice daily if necessary, in increments of 50mg per week too. Apart from that everything is under control, thank goodness.
