Another Uplifting Poem
It was another uplifting poem,
Masquerading as the meaning of life,
And those who took little sips from it
Felt a little better during the day
Because the poem was their friend
Like a get-well card or a call from
That special someone with its
Huggy--poo and lovey-doo
Type of fuzzy nonsense,
But it felt good anyway,
Like you were standing in a parking lot
Filled with cheery people, getting
All sickly christmasy,
And the huggy-poos and lovey-doos
Kept ringing loud in your head and
You felt that you wasted all of your
Goddamned motherfucking life
Just to hear some cheerful
Obnoxious moron tell you sickly
Sweet platitudes--hugs and kisses
And sunny wishes, and babies and
Puppies and kittens, and horrible verse
About someone's granny
And how she made it all better,
While you were holding a gun to your head,
Wanting to end it all, sick of all the love
And the hugs and the greetings,
And the Christmas spirit, and saving
The whales, and the genocide in Darfur,
And feeding the world and protecting
Little critters with huggy-poos and
Lovey-doos and all the random fuck-yous
From the passing drivers--
Then it all made sense as you lowered the gun
And took the piss in the parking lot
In front of all those cheery bible peddlers
And said merry fucking Christmas,
Taking a shot in the dark and walking
Away in a drunken stupor.
December 1, 2006
--Alexander Shaumyan
