RECEIEVED THIS IN MY EMAIL BACK IN AUGUST. THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE THIS IN CASE YOU ARE CONSIDERING DATING A GAL/GUY FROM THE AUSTIN AREA!!!
LOL... ENJOY!!
Mattel recently announced the release of the following Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the Austin market:
West Lake Hills Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Arboretum. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Round Rock Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.
Jonestown Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash, preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
Lake Travis Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Bastrop Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder.
She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is
drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Lakeway Barbie
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Percocet prescription available.
Buda Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased "Bubba" Ken out of Taylor Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Dripping Springs Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with
white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Dripping Springs Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
East Austin Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
Cedar Park Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting.
Montopolis Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats . The optional Ken doll comes with a ABIA baggage handler's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Montopolis Barbie or Ken.
South Congress Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.
Sun City Barbie/Ken
These dolls are going fast! Well, what we mean is they're old and don't have much time left. Neither of these can drive, but they both write checks for everything or pay in change, and can provide hours of endless repetitive conversation about "The good ol' days". Can be seen in Barbie Grocery Store (sold separately) arguing over prices.
DISCLAIMER -- I have lived and worked in many areas of Austin since 1978 so I am a perfect blend of many stereotypes!! hee hee....
