Dynimite's blog: "Tips about Realationships"

Avoid THESE Big Mistakes With Women >NOTE: You can see all of the different programs I've created to help you learn how to attract and meet women right here (plus watch great video clips of each of them as well): http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/ ***QUESTION*** Dave, Dude i must say your a genius. I just graduated from high school, when i was in school i was always shy around girls an didn't know what to say, you've helped me open up my eyes to what i should of been doing a long time ago. Now I've got 2 girls that both want me , an i really dont know how to handle that. Any suggestions????? None of my friends are giving me any good answers. Im sure u have some. Help me out if u get a chance, u dont gotta publish it in your emails u send to everyone . I just really wanna know what to do, i dont want to fu** this up. Any help would be greatly appreciated. JF in Va. >>>MY COMMENTS: OK, well it doesn't sound like too much of a problem to me. You have two girls that like you, what's the issue?! You're going to have to decide if you'd like: 1) A relationship with one of them. 2) To be single and date both of them. If you want a relationship, then pick the one you like and go out with her more than once a week. If you DON'T want a relationship right now, then don't see EITHER of them more than about once a week (twice once in awhile is OK, but any more than that and a woman will start to go into relationship mode AUTOMATICALLY). There is no problem with more than one woman liking you, the problem comes if you start being dishonest and not-up-front in your dealings with them. These are great problems to have, really... as long as you don't screw it up by being a jackass. ***COMMENT FROM A READER*** There is a lot of guys that says: "I want a woman to like me for "who I am"... "I don't want to be pretending like I'm someone else..." "I want to "be myself"... I don't like the idea of pretending to be someone that I'm not..." I was the typical Nice-Guy-Wussy-Clingy, but I have read your newsletter and I have downloaded your book six months ago, and in six month I have date more women than in six years, first I didn't believe in being Cocky & Funny, but after trying again and again, I have a lot of success and the best of all is that I FEEL that Cocky & Funny is a part of my personality, I ENJOY a lot being Cocky & Funny, but I'm not only C&F with the girls that I meet, I'm C&F with my brother, sister, my friends and with everyone !!! Thanks David, for all, It's like a dream , Thanks Again. Some Day I will shake your hand.. JP from Argentina >>>MY COMMENTS: Congratulations. You've figured something out that a lot of guys NEVER get their entire lives... You've realized that you can actually enjoy yourself and make Cocky and Funny, as well as the other techniques, a part of your personality. I'm glad things are working out for you, and it would be great to shake your hand one day (no kissing, though). ***QUESTION*** Hello, I recently downloaded your e-book, and that combined with your email newsletters have helped me land more email addresses/phone #s in the last several months than the rest of my 24 year life combined. I now see some of the stuff I have been doing wrong over the years and some things to do to correct my behavior and attitudes towards women. The cocky/funny attitude definitely works, when used in the right context. I still feel awkward since I'm fairly new at these new "techniques" but I know I am on the right track. However, I have some challenging questions for you. Getting a phone number or email address for me obviously hasn't been enough, and I'll explain why: When I call a girl's phone number, I often don't get through (yes, I remember your figure of something like 1 in 3 times on average). Obviously if I want a date, I'll have to try again later, or leave a message if she has voice mail. That leads me to the first question, should I leave a (cocky/funny) message, or just try again later? I am afraid that leaving a message for someone I hardly know might make me come off as too desperate (so far I have NEVER gotten a response after leaving a message), but then when I call again and again (within reason, I give it some time between calls, and I won't try more than a couple times in a day) attempting to reach a girl in person, I'm afraid that she might have caller ID and figure out that I kept calling her, which would also make me come across as needy and desperate. Or, should I just give up, and move on to somebody else, even with the possibility that the girl I tried calling really likes me and simply wasn't there to answer my call? My second question is an even tougher one. Over the summer I've emailed about 12 different girls asking for dates. I will provide the text of a typical message in a minute here. However, I have to date gotten ONE response back (there goes your 60% theory...). I originally thought there must be something wrong with my account, but then I realized my emails get prompt responses from other friends and family members, so I don't think this is the case (only once did I get a "delivery failure" notification). So...what is going on here--am I just having an incredibly bad streak of luck, or am I doing something drastically wrong? And if the latter, what is it--am I coming off as a wuss, does my email address turn them off, or what? Now, here is what I said in one of my messages (this is a typical example): (Girl's name), It was nice meeting you at the meteorology picnic, and welcome to the department. I'm curious to know what you're taking as an undergrad, as I came here straight for the graduate program. I'll have a lot of things to do over the next couple of days, but let's try and get together later this weekend--and we can have some fun and get to know each other better. (My name) I think that was a pretty good email, although I wonder if maybe I should have asked for her number too... anyway I'll leave it up to you to analyze. One final question: Should I always get a girl's phone number or email address in the first meeting, if I am sure I will see her again? For example, at the picnic aformentioned in my email example, I met another cute girl at the end of the evening (she's in my academic department, so I know I'll see her again eventually), but she was leaving, I was already on my way to my car, and my hands were completely full with food. Thus it would have been totally inconvenient and awkward to stop and write down an email address or phone number. Is it better just to hold off in certain situations like this one? Anyways...thanks for any help and advice you can give me. N. >>>MY COMMENTS: Well, let's start with the good... Great job getting more email addresses and numbers lately than in the last 24 YEARS!... lol. You mention above that you've read my book, but what you've said above leads me to believe that you didn't really pay much attention when you did. I'm not even going to address your issue of calling women, as you should probably be focusing on emailing first. I guess I'm confused, because you ask for advice about what to do when calling, then you send me a sample EMAIL to critique. OK, about the email... Let's start with "It was nice meeting you at the METEOROLOGY picnic, and welcome to the department..." What kind of lame opening is this? Then we have, "I'm curious to know what you're taking as an undergrad, as I came straight for the graduate program..." Oh, lord help me. Next we roll into, "...let's try to get together later this weekend--and we can have some fun and get to know each other better..." DON'T MAKE ME SLAP MY OWN HEAD, PLEASE. You sound like you can't decide whether to ask her to be your study partner, become her school counselor, or subtly imply that you're a perv on a mission. No no no. You want to touch base, keep it light, and get to the next step. No school stuff, no interview questions, no "fun". Try this when following up: "Hey, it was nice meeting you last night... what are you up to this week? Would you like to join me for a cup of something wonderful and some stimulating conversation? Talk to me." ...you know, just like it says word-for-word on page 130 of Double Your Dating. No interviews, no "fun", no lame questions about what she's doing as an undergrad. OK, I realize that I'm being a little harsh here, and that you're just getting started... lol... but I have to pick on someone! Remember, no boring, average talk. And until you have something that you KNOW works better, use the materials that you paid for in my book! As your final assignment, keep me posted on how much better women respond to this new, improved follow-up message. (Hint: if you still aren't getting responses, then you're doing something when you meet them to give them the creeps. Think about it, and make some modifications if you have to.) ***QUESTION*** Dear Jedi Master I have written several times but my letters were never published. This time I think I have great material to contribute, which can help in your newsletter (one of them is this little face, women love them even if you insert them in the first e- mail you exchange, right after a c & f comment). First, my success story. I met a girl on-line on one of those dating sites. I didn't expect anything out of it. She had told me she was tall and cute, I didn't believe so but actually, she turned out to be very pretty. We went out on a date at night (she proposed it herself thanks to my c & f e-mails), though I told her I thought it was kind of hasty, I accepted. The whole date I kept composure, I set up a relaxed and calm atmosphere, I just sat, laid back and chatted. The only c & f comment I needed to send in was this one. We were talking about the people we had met on-line. When she asked about my experience, I said I only met a nice girl, pretty and everything, but she was too needy and forward so I had to tell her "let's just be friends". She told me about hers, she went out with a nerd, a geek who kept her the whole night talking about computers and mathematics. I told her that "you don't get everyday such a lucky chance to meet such a cute guy like me". Result, in the end of the date she asked me if she could kiss me, now she is my girlfriend and everything is great so far. The non verbal cocky and funny examples are many. Once, in a disco I saw a stunning blond walking in. She was very poshy and nose-up. As she passed by me (all the attention was obviously focused on her) I had this genius idea. I followed her imitating her wiggling hips and I squeezed my nose (up) with two fingers (as if to say everybody stinks here, except for me). As a result, everybody around us noticed the slapstick comedy scene and was laughing out loud, even her when she caught me. Another example is still in a disco scene. I was enjoying my beer with my friends sitting on a table. On the other end of the place there were these two beauties, they were all the time surrounded by loosers and sharks. Another idea flashed in my mind, as our eyes met, I show her my tongue and I gave her a raspberry. Her expression went from surprise (I can't believe you just did that) to smile and then she cracked up in laughter. I kept this up with other strange gestures, like shaking my head as if to say "you're no good", then with other gestures I told her she was a drunkard. Needless to say, I went way further than everybody else. Another gesture you can add after you got her attention, is to raise your eyebrows. This approach is very good from far away cause you can keep it up for a few minutes without even uttering a word without approaching her directly walking towards her. You don't even have to worry about the loud music. Another gesture you can do is shaking your hand with your fingers held together (a very Italian gesture), as if to say "what do you want from me?". And yes, it is a very good idea to imitate and tease them when they dance. It is so nice and fun to tease them, and they love it too. My question is this one. I noticed that my girlfriend, when I come out with a cocky and funny statement, still laughs and enjoys it, but at the same time she gets frustrated and tells me to stop it as if she doesn't like it. What does this mean? I keep it up anyhow. I would like to address also the issue of body language. There are loads of girls who are too shy to look at you straight in the eye. They give you only a side-look. I advise to keep a friend around you so that you can catch these shy birds as well. Message to everyone, get a book about body language, it can save your self-esteem and a lot of time too! Thanks again, I still have a lot of issues to address but I realize I am making this letter too long Thanks again man, keep up the good work F from Italy >>>MY COMMENTS: Very nice, I'm glad you wrote in, because I was just working on some "non-verbal" ways of being cocky and funny and you have figured some of them out yourself. NICE! One great technique you mentioned is IMITATING a woman who is obviously very hot and/or stuck up. You can pull your shoulders back, stick out your butt, and put your nose in the air... then look over at her... then laugh at yourself. If a woman gives you a compliment, you can purse your lips and put on an exaggerated "James Bond" Mr. Cool look and say "she wants me" right to her face. There are a million ways... great stuff. To answer your question, I think it's a good idea to always keep doing what worked in the beginning. If a woman was attracted to you because you were Cocky and Funny, then keep doing it later as well. If she puts up a fuss, just say, "I'm glad you like it." The best way to keep a woman's interest is to KEEP DOING WHAT WORKED IN THE FIRST PLACE. ***QUESTION*** Dave, I read your newsletters religiously and they have come in quite handy, I gotta say. A two mos. ago, a friend and I were in a coffee shop when he spotted a female acquaintance of his. He talked to her a bit and said, "This is my friend...". I look at her and say, "What's up? I'm D." This girl gives me the bitchiest look I've ever seen and in her most appalled tone of voice she says, "Ummmmmm, WHAT'S UP?" ....as if I should address her, "Your Highness". "What do you want me to do [her name], bow down and kiss your hand, your Highness?"...when I said this, she was in shock b/c I just tore down her brat barrier and she tried to regain composure. Well sometime later, we fooled around some and got along pretty well. The catch is, after we fool around she gets clingy (like some wussy guy would do). Dave, have I dug a hole for myself with this? I'd rather give up the action than have some brat getting all emotional and clingy for me...what do you say? Cheers, D. Indiana >>>MY COMMENTS: Yeah, this is a funny thing. If you bust a stuck-up woman's chops enough to break through the "Brat Barrier", as you call it, she'll often become VERY attached to you. It's almost as if attractive women have been walking around challenging every man they meet, and when you meet the challenge she rolls over. And I'll tell you what, I'd rather give up a woman than have her be emotionally needy and clingy myself. You just have to figure out why she's being clingy... is it because she's a damaged person on the inside, because you led her to believe that you wanted a relationship, or some other reason, and do what makes sense. Good job busting through the "Brat Barrier". I might just steal that name... ***QUESTION*** Hey Dave, First off, mad props for taking the time to write a book that everyone can read and use. I have yet to buy it (next week I will though - payday), but I have been receiving your newsletters and enjoying the material in there. Now after receiving your emails for a few weeks, I decided to try using the cocky and funny approach on every girl I came across (I've always been too shy to do this consistently.. only situationally). So I did this at work, at coffee shops, at the bar, you name it. I hadn't tried the email/number techniques yet though. And I had only been doing this for a week when I happened to meet a girl that was incredibly attractive, smart, and just the complete package. So she received my largest C&F effort yet. It worked like a charm! We talked for only a few minutes the first time we met but I left an impression. The second time we met, we chatted and joked around for a few hours and I asked her on a date, which she readily accepted. So we went on that date, and things went great. I was nervous about going out with her, but from the start I made the decision that I wanted to use her for practise. I know that sounds bad to alot of people, but it's more of a frame of mind than anything else. So anyhow, we went to dinner first (yeah - I know), we talked, we joked, we had a good time. Then we went to a movie (which was originally the plan, to just go see this movie we both wanted to see, and that was all.. the dinner was tacked on by her really), and I tried a form of a kiss test. Since we had already reached a level of comfort/friendliness through conversation, it was time to check out physical playfulness. So during the movie (comedy), there were a lot of funny moments as expected. Well, one of them was hilarious and we both went nuts laughing, so I did the laugh and slap your own leg thing.. except I used her leg. And I did it lightly enough so that it won't leave a mark, but stung a bit. Which is what I wanted actually. She responded by saying "hey, that hurt!" while smiling at me, so I said "oh, poor baby, want me to kiss it better?". She got off on my playfulness and raised her leg up so I could kiss it. So I kissed her leg, and I said "There you go kid, all better!", and I followed that up with "I hope I don't have to hit you in the face to get a kiss!":) I still laugh when I think of that one. She thought that was so funny she just cracked right up, it was great! A little off the wall, but great! Then I just waited for the next funny part, which was like, 10 seconds later, and I looked into her eyes, down to her lips, and back to her eyes, and kissed her. She was incredibly responsive. Now, I'm talking in slow motion here because that portion setup what has been a great thing between myself and this girl since that date. But I need to fast forward to the problem part. So to fill in the gaps in a rather boring fashion, the date led to a next day hot-tub at her place (she called me), and sex the day after that. She was completely into me. We had spent almost every single day together for the next 3 weeks. Anytime I tried to take a day off, she wouldn't have any of that. The sex was amazing, and got better and better each time. And that all led to the problem: She through me a wicked wicked curv ball that I didn't expect or see coming, and I didn't react the way I should have. She not only came out and said 'I love you', she followed that up with 'I think you are the one '!!! That is some deep, serious shit right there. That through me off my game big time. It was like being at the plate with no bat while Randy Johnson throws fastballs at me. 'Holy s***!' I ended up having a day (the next day), where I really needed to be alone, and quiet, to contemplate this whole scene. Unfortunately, she said those words while we were on a camping trip... so when I was acting quiet and distant, she didn't know what to do. She hadn't seen me like that. So I played it off like I was grumpy. That wasn't really the best move, but I was feeling confused. Here I have this amazing chick who has just said some incredibly huge words to me. I was stuck, and it turned me into a wuss again:( That day of the camping trip sucked, and it was a short camping trip (arrived friday night, left sunday morning), so it wasn't a very good one. The friday night was amazing, but what she said setup the confusion for the rest of it. So on the Monday after we got back, we sat down and talked, and decided that it was much too early for that and we should take a step back and hold the 'I love you' stuff for another time. Well, that lasted until that friday when she came over and said "I've been thinking about this alot, and I am SO in love with you. I know we said we didn't want to go there, but you are just so amazing I can't picture my life without you." Another curv ball. Another wussifying statement. And once again, I felt confused and a little overwhelmed. She has everything I want in a woman, and she's telling me that I'm what she wants in a man. Well, that changed all too quickly. I turned into a wuss. For some dumb reason, I felt that her confessions of love required me to be more sentimental, caring, and lubby dubby. What the hell was I thinking!!! Exactly one week after that and about 4 days of me being completely off my game and catering to her needs, she decides that she has lost the attraction. She didn't say exactly that, but it was obvious by our sex life which all of a sudden disappeared. So we discussed it, and she felt like being with me was like "training a puppy" because I lacked confidence in my actions. At that point, I knew she was right because lately, I wasn't acting confident in my actions. I let all of my actions and decisions take her feelings into consideration first, which ends up making me hesitate and appear to lack confidence. At the same time, during the 3 or 4 days prior to that talk, she had stopped liking my jokes and taking things offensively. I was not impressed with that. So I brought that up after her "training a puppy" comment, and I followed it up with a "you know what... we're done." And that was it, I broke up with her. Now I'm sitting here thinking about how amazing this girl is, and how the only reason we aren't together is because I acted like a wuss after the "I love you"'s came out. The thing is, everyone around us seen a stronge love between myself and this girl, and nobody can believe it turned out like this. Neither can I, but at least I know why. Problem now, is that I know that we had a strong love (as early as it was), and I want that back. I know how wussy that sounds, but I feel like this ended prematurely. I feel confident that I can go out and get numbers and get dates, etc... but it doesn't feel right at this point. I am tempted to call her and at least say "It's too bad things didn't work out between us, but I would like to remain friends, blaw blaw blaw...". It has only been a little over a day since we broke up (sunday now, and we broke up friday night), so I don't know if I should even bother calling her, or if I should wait a couple days to see if she calls me, or whatever. I don't want to wait to be honest. Despite what happened this past week, she is still someone that is incredibly special. No other girl I've met has had her qualities. Which is what makes this so damn tough. So any advice you can throw me is more than appreciated. What should I do here Dave? Thanks, J. >>>MY COMMENTS: Your letter was long, but I had to include it. Let this be a lesson to you... DON'T TURN INTO A WUSSY. Don't do it. And the most important reason is the one you've demonstrated with your situation: Because you'll screw up the one situation that really matters, when and if it comes. Women are NOT attracted to WUSSIES. And men tend to start acting like wussies when they really like a girl. Here's what to do: 1) Don't call her. 2) Go date other women, IMMEDIATELY. 3) If you talk to her again because you ran into her or she calls you, MENTION THAT YOU'RE DATING OTHER WOMEN, AND DO THE THINGS YOU DID WHEN YOU FIRST MET HER THAT ATTRACTED HER TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. (If you don't hear from her for a few weeks or a month, you may call her ONCE.) 4) Write, "I will not act like a WUSS-BAG again." 1,000 times. 5) Read this RIGHT NOW: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/OnBeingAMan/ Now, go and be a Wussy no more. ***QUESTION*** Hey there David. Great work! I love your mailbags and tips. They are very informative and useful and have worked wonders for my dating life. Anyways, to the point. I wanted to share a good C+F line that has worked more than I expected it to... And yes, I thought of it. It works good for guys who have to overcome shyness as well. Okay it goes something like this. The girl you are talking to knows you are shy. So you bust on her with C+F a bit then you mention that you are kind of different when you get to know people better. Then you say I guess I'm like M&M's. You got to get past that hard candy shell and get to the sweet, sweet, chocolatty center (And say sweet, sweet, chocolatty center in a Homer Simpson voice if you want. I find it makes it funnier). They nearly always laugh at this one. Then you say something to the effect of I'm not even going to get into how else I'm like M&M's. 95% of chicks get this... And it's got me to my final destination many a time. ;Þ ... You can even follow up if they make a comment that I hate how women see me as some type of sexual object; a piece of meat if you will. (And in a sorta whiney but funny voice), ITS SO DEGRADING! They love that :P Thanks for everything Dave and keep up the great work... I'm saving up for your book but I'm hella poor so it might take a couple of weeks. LOL. T. BC, Canada >>>MY COMMENTS: Nice! I love comments that turn typical female ideas around and make fun of them... Like saying, "I hate that women only see me as some type of sexual object... like a piece of meat" etc. And the M&M comment is subtle, but nice. Good work, keep it up! ***QUESTION*** Hey Dave, I've read your book and been reading your letters for months, and it all makes an awful lot of sense. Though coming from someone that has had as much experience as I have I don't know how much that means. I'm 19 and never been in a relationship, well never actually gone out with a girl unless it was purely as 'friends'. And that's where my problem kicks in. I am the prodigal nice guy, basically reverse all your advise and you'd have me. That's not to say I don't have what it takes, I'm funny when I'm with friends, and pretty carefree and even a bit cocky when I'm with girls that I'm not at all interested in (I'm not naturally cocky). I've even been told I'm cute by several different girls, so I guess I'm not hideous. The thing is I just can't bring myself to make an approach. If a girl approached me first I'd be able to get her number (hypothetically, no real world experience here). Whenever I have had the guts to ask a girl out in the past it's always the same, you're nice and all, can we JBF?. I now know that was because I was in complete wuss mode while asking these girls out. And I guess I'm finding this act hard to break, I just can't seem to break away from Mr. Nice Guy. I've tried the visualisation techniques you mention, though I guess I just loose motivation, not because I don't want a date, but because I guess I believe I can't get a date. So if there are any pearls of wisdom you can dish out in regards to getting over this first hurdle it would be greatly appreciated. Think of me as a project you can mould into the ultimate man, Funny, Cocky and Charming. Thanks for your help in advance T.C From Australia >>>MY COMMENTS: OK, I have two things for you to do: 1) Get online and start chatting with random women. I don't care what service you use, but I like AOL. Just start conversations and tease them. Instant message a woman who's obviously young and ask, "Are you 50 years old?" Mess with them. Have fun. This will sharpen up your game, and it will show you how well women respond when you tease them. 2) Go out to a place where there are a LOT of women and put yourself in a location that is IN THEIR WAY. Here in Los Angeles we have night clubs for people over the age of 18. Find one of these clubs, and go stand by the bar, right where there's the MOST traffic, so a lot of women bump into you. This will create all kinds of opportunities to talk to women, and many of them will start talking to you. You'll get a lot of "excuse me" while they try to get to the bar, etc. Think of a few other ways to put yourself in the paths of a lot of women, and go practice. Just do it. Your problem is all in your mind. You need to get out there and see that this stuff works, so you can believe in it. ***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN*** I need your advice: I just recently met a guy (while he was going to a business meeting) and I was just leaving my gym. He asked me to have coffee, but I kind of hesitated. I didn't go, however, I took his business card. A few days later I decided to email him...just to say "hi." We have been communicating via the net for a couple weeks now. I also have had the opportunity to meet him briefly for the first time to have coffee. Then at another time I was with my girlfriend...and he was also with us. He seems like a nice guy, but I don't like the way we met. It seemed like he was trying to pick me up or something. What I am trying to say is that, had the situation been different, like if we met through friends or at work, I wouldn't have this much negative thoughts about him. Anyway, we were supposed to meet for dinner and a movie, but then he called to tell me that he had a migraine. He seems really interested in having me go over to his place. Not knowing him well, I am very afraid to do something of this nature... so I declined his invitations without responding. Furthermore, he'd called again and said that he would love to see me. Again he asked me to go to his place. He said that he would even come to pick me up or have a taxi pick me up. This is very insulting to me. I mean If I wanted to see someone, I would drive to see him. Why did he have to offer a taxi. I can't figure this guy out, but I am very suspicious about the whole situation. It seemed to me like the whole thing is bogus. Please respond. I am in desperate need to find out this guy's true intentions. Do I have the right to feel this way, or am I just being too cautios and paranoid? Hope to hear from you soon. ST >>>MY COMMENTS: OK, I've included this email because I want to show you something... Namely, a great example of what's going on in the mind of a "typical" woman. Notice all of the suspicion, insecurity, reading into the situation, attempts to decipher intentions, etc. One of the things I say is that women don't take anything you say or do LITERALLY. They always want to know what it "means". I basically NEVER see emails like this from guys. Guys just want to know: Is she into me or not? That's it. Guys don't care if the woman was trying to "pick them up" or whether they met at work or on the street, or if she wants him to come over to her house... EVER. But women... women are completely different. They are ALWAYS thinking about motives, details, and "meaning". What's my point? Well, a lot of guys do things that make women suspicious. Or they do things that women read into and instantly run from... Or they do predictable, average things and say predictable, average things that BORE women because the woman interprets the man's actions as AVERAGE AND UNINTERESTING. You need to keep this stuff in mind. This guy should have asked for her email FIRST (asking her to coffee right on the spot was OK, but since she didn't go for it, email would be the right next step). Then he should have emailed a day or two later and suggested a cup of tea. After the tea, he should have invited her over to continue the conversation, etc. But he's not really paying attention to how a woman might see his actions, and he's coming across a little strange. He's trying to get a woman who doesn't trust him yet to come straight to his house... and it's freaking her out. Of course, there's a way to do this (I talk about it in my book, of course), but he's not doing it correctly. This is another reason why I recommend that guys avoid talking about work, family, school, etc. If you talk about those things, you'll be likely to come off as qualifying her for marriage... which is a no-no early on. If you tease, have fun, make fun, and stay mysterious, then you'll create curiosity, challenge, and mystery. Every woman is different, and there is often a fine line between being suspicious and being interesting. But you need to know the difference, and behave in a way that gets you the outcome you want. ***QUESTION*** I have a few questions on the cocky + funny bit. Ill get strait to the point, is it a good idea to use sarcasm a lot? is it a bad idea to bust on yourself in a sarcastic way? ex. you trip and almost fall, then you say, "wow, im sure smooth today" while laughing about it does the Cocky in cocky + funny mean to brag about yourself, or things youve done in a funny way? as you can see Ive been having some trouble on this approach. I have your book but still cant grasp the whole attitude about it. oh and can you give us a good C&F line when a woman says "shush" or "shut up" while laughing. if yo have any more advice man, id love to hear it, if i can get this down, i will have greater succe ss then you have given me your awsome Dave, genius >>>MY COMMENTS: OK, Yes on the sarcasm. I love it. I don't really make fun of myself a lot. I think that it's better to accuse her of being the cause of any mistakes you make, etc. If you trip, say "You know, this doesn't happen when you're not around... I think you're causing it" etc. You can brag about yourself in a funny way... that's great. If she likes your shirt, say "Yeah, women are always trying to pick me up with those cheesy lines." If she says, "Shut up" while laughing, that's a PERFECT opportunity to dial it up a notch and come back with something even funnier... maybe, "You love me" with a serious face. You must remember that it HAS TO BE FUNNY. You can say ANYTHING, as long as it's FUNNY. Practice if you have to. Write things down... I did. I still do, in fact. Watch comedy on TV and in the movies. Notice what's funny and what's not. Imitate others until you get the hang of it. You're doing fine... you'll have it soon! ***QUESTION*** David: Your book has helped me live life in a great new way- I went from not going to my senior prom to getting e-mails from some of the most beautiful girls on my campus (and I've only been here 3 days!) Thanks a ton. I do have a question about two ideas in your book that, at least in the manner in which I have applied them, seem to contradict each other. You say guys that argue a lot seem insecure, which I certainly agree with. You then say that when a woman says something you are doing is bothering her, to instead of stopping to comply with her as most guys would, to keep doing whatever bothers her, and in fact "turn it up a notch". How do you do this without the situation resulting in an argument? I'd imagine humor would help, but could take me through exactly how to make this work? Thanks, R. >>>MY COMMENTS: OK, arguing is when she says, "You know, divorce is wrong", and you say, "No, it's not. In fact, divorce is a very healthy thing for adults to decide to do. There was a study in a recent issue of Psychology Today that suggests that children from divorced families make more money than those that don't..." Turning up something she just told you she doesn't like is when you put on some Metallica and she says, "Turn that off, I hate heavy metal" and you turn it up a little and say, "Well you'd better learn to like it, because I do"... then turn it down a minute or so later. Are you with me? The first example (arguing) is insecure WUSSY behavior, the second example is spanking her for being bossy. Get it? Nice! And great job with the babes on campus. It's going to be a fun year for some women in your area! ***QUESTION*** Hi dave, I dont have many success stories because the first girl I met after I started using your stuff is gorgeous, and we have been dating for 5 months now, she's a keeper. anyway, I am still putting your techniques into practise and this girl is buying me gifts every other week and she still say she can't figure me out. I love keeping her on her toes. My question is this, what if a girl does something to piss you off, how should you handle it and still keep true to your priciples. On one hand if i just say "thats ok, I don't mind" I am being wussy, but if I get mad and give her sh** I am no longer being indifferent. I think maybe teasing her about it without actually showing that I am displeased would be the right course of action, please elaborate. Your pupil in Canada. R. >>> MY COMMENTS: DON'T BE A WUSSY. I hate to say this, but women often do things to piss you off JUST TO TEST YOU AND SEE IF YOU'LL STAND UP AND BE A MAN. Really. Now, DON'T put on your wife beater, get drunk, drive over to her trailer park and start hitting her hat... But, I think you catch my meaning. Don't accept things that aren't acceptable. Wow, profound. I know, I'm brilliant with the obvious. Be a man about it, don't be a little girl. Just tell her to not do it anymore... don't whine and complain. You're in a relationship right now, but this happens all the time with women that you've just met. It's important to set your boundaries early, because if you don't they'll turn into problems, resentments, etc. That dork, 'Dr. Phil' says, "Men don't get it, but they can be trained". Oh, I just love that kind of talk. Let's see... a man who makes his money by saying things that Oprah's audience of 50 million married overweight WOMEN (who have nothing better to do than sit around the house in the middle of the day watching T.V.) will agree with... Hmm. (I actually kind of like 'Dr. Phil'... don't get me wrong... lol) The truth is that A TRAINED MAN IS A WUSSY, AND HE MIGHT AS WELL GET A RING PUT IN HIS NOSE AND BUY HIS WOMAN A LEASH TO LEAD HIM AROUND. Like I always say, you can be attractive without being ABUSIVE. Be strong, fellow dude. Avoid the temptation, when the tests come, to turn into a WUSSY. You know, it's difficult for me to get along in this world with this problem I have of not saying how I REALLY feel. Great job finding a great gal... now do the right things, and keep her. Let me tell you something... I spent YEARS trying to figure out how to be successful with women and dating. YEARS. I read books, listened to tapes, went to seminars... and tried all KINDS of things. I mean, if you knew half of the stuff that I tried, you'd laugh your ass off at me. Most of it didn't work... and the stuff that did work actually worked IN SPITE of the fact that it was lame. I mean, if you do ANYTHING it will work SOME of the time. I'm going to tell you something that is both simple and profound at the same time. If you will learn how to be a MAN, then most of the "other stuff" will take care of ITSELF. Really. In fact, after spending years and years of my life learning how to attract women, I finally realized that most men have never learned what it means to "be a man". It's crazy, actually. The kicker is that a mature, interesting, attractive woman knows INSTANTLY if she's dealing with a "real man"... or if she's dealing with a "WussBoy". So my question to you is: What are YOU communicating to the women you're interacting with? Man? WussBoy? Ass-kisser who's beyond all help? I hope not. If this is making sense to you, and you'd like to learn how to develop the MAN side of yourself... so you project this amazing POWER to women... then you MUST get your hands on a copy of my "On Being A Man... Who Naturally Attracts Women" program. Inside, I face this problem of "missing manhood" HEAD ON. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that this program is all fun and games. And it's also not full of techniques for "picking up chicks". In fact, this program is ALL about YOU. It's all about understanding the reasons why we have NOT grown into MEN... and how to FIX the problem for yourself. I'd love to sit here and tell you all about it, but it's better if you go read about it for yourself, and watch some video clips of the program. You can go check it out here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/OnBeingAMan/ If you'd like to get a broad introduction to my most powerful concepts, PLUS get some great techiques for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting dates, and taking things to a "physical" level, then you need to check out my Advanced Dating Techniques DVD/CD program. The thing that makes my Advanced Program different from all the other stuff out there is that it's BASED on watching and learning from guys who are "naturally" good with women. The experience that REALLY took my success to a high level was watching, learning from, imitating, testing and refining what I learned from these guys. In fact, I invited several of my friends who were the MOST influential on me to participate in the live seminar that was edited into the Advanced Dating Techniques program. And when you listen to it, you'll watch and/or hear me interviewing five of them LIVE. You know, one of the funniest experiences I've had is looking back on all the various techniques that I tried before I "got it" with women... and laughing to myself at how stupid most of it was. Fortunately, by doing those things, I learned a lot... and I developed a ton of fantastic theories, methods, and systems that get RESULTS. I've worked hard to create a great set of tools and techniques, and a logical way to learn them, understand them, and start using them. If you want to check out some great free samples of this program, go here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/AdvancedSeries/ And if you haven't taken the time to download my online eBook, you need to do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it to your computer and be reading it within a few minutes... Go get it here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/eBook/ I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D.