well I was completely honest with CCL and it did hurt very much,especially when no matter what I said or how much I cried, All he could say was he was sorry he didn't mean to lead me on....
well with that i don't know, He says he wants to continue to be friends and build on that, BUT what does that mean in the male language seriously!
I told him I couldn't allow that! I can't go from being enemys to being friends to being lovers to being friends again, I just am not built that way... he says he will not ever give up on me, ummmmmm so what does that mean again in the male language?
I wanted so much from this whole thing, only to have non of it fulfilled in the least..... To hear him say he is sorry makes things a little better but I am a so show me kinda girl...... words are just that words it takes actions to convince a lady that has been scorned, does it not!
I am getting better though I didn't answer his call twice today but I did call him back once. but i did miss hearing his voice..... so hopefully it will get easier for me not to answer his calls or emails or anything.... IF he continues to call or pursue this "FRIENDSHIP"
I am tired of being sad,of missing him, of missing his smile or his ever need to talk to me or see me I do I miss it.... But with all the hurt and sorrow associated with it all now I am very hesitant to allow anything at all between us except niceties that are required at certain times, so what to do what to do......... We are in business together so that part will continue however even with that I will try and use the people above him to get done what I need done....
I futaly hope though that somehow he can show me how he feels for me, IF at anytime he has felt for me, IF ever the time to show it it would defiantly be NOW before the door is completely closed forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here is the question I pose to all the men out there..
When a guy is all into you over the phone/internet and you know each other in person too then you have sex, and spend time together during this time the guy puts up all his shields and becomes an asshole all over again ,THEN its I want to be friends..... was it just lust that ruled his actions or could it be he was afraid of me??
I Just wish he would be brutally honest with me in everything....... even if it were to hurt, at least I would know his standings right
