At 14 I had become somewhat rebelious. That combined with my suicide attempt caused my parents to get me involved with this program for juveniles. I was to go camping in Minnisota for a 10 day canoe trip with the local intake center and be assigned a big sister in the big sister/big brother program when I got back. The big sister program ended up being a very positive thing in my life. It gave me a place to go and someone to talk to when life seemed so unfair.
When I was 15 I dated a guy that I thought I was in love with. He was 17. He had baby fine blonde hair and amazing blue eyes. He was an artist. He used to write me letters with all kinds of graffics. I was impressed. I started getting high because he did and I wanted to share his interests with him. He had moved to our school from a country school. He had broken up with his girlfriend when he moved because he thought they would never see each other again. To my bad luck, that didn't happen. He had ran back into his ex and realized that it was her, not me, that he wanted. He therefore, broke up with me. I was so shattered that I wrote him a letter telling him that if he came back to me I would give him the greatest gift I had to give.....my virginity. Boy was I deflated when not only did he not want my gift but he gave my letter to his girlfriend. She called me and confronted me about my very personal letter. She, not he, is the one that set me straight about who he would and would not be with. I again tried to kill myself. This time I took 19 midols. I did this during school because I wanted him to know the pain he had put me through. I wanted him to know it was his fault. I didn't go to my classes because he wasn't in any of them. I, instead, spent the beginning of the day in the nurses office. I had the nurse call my mom at work and get permission for me to leave school and come over to where she worked. It was right down from the school.
I walked to the convenience store where mom was. I was a crying mess. Mom was busy but payed attention to me nontheless. She noticed that I was getting real pale and with the crying she asked me what was wrong. I broke down and told my mom what I had done. She freaked like any mother would. She called the poison control hotline to find out what to do for me. Then she had me go to the restroom and make myself sick. When she asked me why I did it I couldn't tell her it was just over a boy. Which in hindsight, it was a combination of disappointments and heartaches that got me to this point again. I told her that it was because of what my dad had done to me. Mom took me to the hospital to be examined, called my dad and had him meet us there. She confronted dad while at the hospital. He denied everything. They broke up not because she wanted to, but because he said he was tired of us girls telling lies on him. He moved into a small apartment just across from where he worked at the time. It wasn't very long before he moved back in with us.
My sister and I confronted him while he and mom laid in bed together. He asked us what we wanted from him. Simultaneously we both said,"Admit it! Just admit it!" He responded with, "What do you think I'm doing by talking about it?" We thought that surely mom would realize that he had just confessed, but she didn't. I don't know if she didn't catch it or if she did and was just denying to herself that her man could have violated her daughters like this. Life continued as before but with one difference. Dad did stop fondling us girls. As far as we knew Terri was now safe. We moved to Muncie shortly thereafter but dad stayed in that same appartment since he got a job at the local factory. He would come down on weekends to be with mom.
When I was 16 I met this very good looking guy that I fell in love with. Oh I had had boyfriends before but none that compared to this guy. He had curly hair (so curly that when picked out it looked like a 6" afro, and he was/is a white guy), blue eyes, and a very athletic body. We met at the local skating rink. It didn't take long for me to realize that I truely loved him with all my heart. We met around July or August and had kissed and fondled each other several times but he didn't 'get' me till we had dated for 6 months or better. I lost my virginity on his 17th birthday. He turned 17 one and a half months after I turned 17. His birthday was in February. On July 5th we were to be married.
Sonny and I had decided to work our best to try to get money saved so we could start our lives out without being broke, but whenever I did find employment I ran into sexual harrassment. I worked for a donut shop, but got molested so I quit my job. I then worked for a company that sold ice cream on those bicycles. My boss wanted me to stay in the office and screw him instead of riding my bike. So I quit that job also. Sonny thought I was lazy because I kept quitting jobs. I didn't tell him about the sexual harrassment that caused me to quit my jobs. I was afraid he would come to Muncie and hurt someone. Then I wouldn't have him with me, he would be in jail.
Dad would bring Sonny to Muncie every weekend with him when dad would come to see mom. One week before our wedding date Sonny wasn't available for dad to pick up. I was heart broke but heard from him the next day. He was very apologetic for missing his ride. He paid his mom to bring him to Muncie to see me. The very next week we were married. My mother couldn't be at my wedding because the night before the wedding Sunset had went into labor. We spent most of the beginning of our married life living with each others parents. We occasionally had our own place but it never lasted long. We had the opportunity to move to Florida with a friend (Mark). When we got there Mark already had a job lined up so he worked while we searched for jobs ourself. We all 3 shared the 2 bedroom apartment.
Sonny found work right away but it was harder for me. I had went job hunting several times. I finally found a job, but just in time to find out that I was pregnant. We worked with only the potatoes to eat. In anticipation we waited for Mark to come home the day he got his first check. When he left for work that day we had only 3 small potatoes for me and Sonny to eat all day. Sonny gave me 2 of them since I was pregnant. Mark didn't come home right after work. He had decided to go party for a while first. By the time we discovered his whereabouts we were starved. Mark gave Sonny $20 so we could get something to eat finally. Eventually I met someone else that allowed us to live with them so now we could eat. Sonny helped pay the bills and I helped take care of my new friend. She had just had surgery and needed a companion.
One day upon awakening I discovered that I had started bleeding badly. I was scared to death. I called my mom while in tears. She seemed so careless to me at the time. She just nonchalontly told me that I was having a miscarriage. I hung up form her and called my mother-in-law. She acted the same way as my mom did. I went through 4 superplus tampons in 45 minutes. This was enough to make us decide to go to the hospital.
We went to University Hospital of South Florida. There were 2 women to a room. We shared a tv and a bathroom. It cost us 137.50 a day and we had no insurance. I stayed there over the weekend and the bleeding had slowed down alot. The tests showed that I had not lost my baby and my cervix was still closed, so they let me go home that following Monday. Before I was released my husband convinced me to call my mom. When I did call her she was shocked to find out that I was in the hospital. She had no recollection of my earlier call. She, unlike my mother-in-law, regreted being so cold to me. I felt like I had my mothers love back.
The following Friday I was still bleeding slightly but only slightly. When this person showed up and told me about when she had a miscarriage .
She had bled for 2 days and when she arrived at the hospital she was considered dead because she had lost so much blood. This terrified me because I had been bleeding now for 8 days. I then decided to go back to the hospital.
READY FOR PART 7?
