When I awoke this morning, the first thought to come into my mind was,
There is no one here to say Merry Christmas to.
No children running in to open presents.
No family to greet with a hug.
No special someone to give a gift to.
I was greeted by two very loving dogs.
So I thought what the hell, I'll make the most of what I have been dealt.
I put the dogs leashes on and we went for a long walk around the lake. I sat near the water and thought of Christmas's from long ago, when they were all good.
I remember the Christmas of 1968 when all I wanted was a Stingray bicycle. I got it!
Christmas 1974 was when all I wanted was a shotgun so I could rabbit and squirrel hunt. I got it!
There were many memorable Holidays over the years.
Last year at this time I had my worse Christmas ever.
It had nothing to do with what I received, it was because of what I couldnt give.
The next day I had a heart attack and died in the emergency room, and my worse fear had come true, I had died alone.
But they revived me and brought me back to this world. I got a second chance. But for what reason?
This year has had many ups and downs just as most years do for everyone else.
What is different this Christmas from last?
I am still alone, I am in no better situation.
Sitting there on the lake shore, I found my answer.
Through this year I have found strength that I did not know I had.
I found friends that I thought I had lost. I met new and special people that share in my hopes and dreams, that care weather I live or die.
I believe that the most important thing that I have found this year though is myself.
I found reason to hope, reason to dream, reason to live.
I want 2007 to be even better.
I am going to live it one day at a time.
Whatever comes my way, I am going to meet it head on with a heart full of life and so much love that it is bursting at the seams.
I wont dwell on being alone anymore.
This is just another crossroad in life, there is someone waiting for me on this path.
And now I realize that this path leads forever forward.
