> > "DON'T FART IN BED"
> >
> >If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
> >I'll pray for you.
> >
> >This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
> >
> >The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting
> >loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the
> >smell
> >would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she
> >would
> >plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He
> >told
> >her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
> >see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
> >
> >The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
> >
> >Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
> >and
> >he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
> >turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
> >malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl andwent upstairs where
> >her husband
> >was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back
> >the
> >elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts
> >into
> >his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
> >trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
> >frantic
> >footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
> >
> >The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
> >tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him
> >back
> >pretty good.
> >About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood
> >stained
> >underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked
> >him what was the matter.
> >
> >He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I
> >didn't listen to you."
> >
> >"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
> >
> >"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
> >and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and
> >two
> >fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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