broken glass under my feet brings flashbacks of broken promises and shattered dreams.
all things unfinished and wounds wide open.
the scars constantly craving to sew themselves shut breathe with their own life.
incomplete.
numb to the pain of it as tolerance to it builds.
what once incapacitated me is now a buzzing of a fly.
only pestering in the silence of an empty room. this bug near my ear now.
begging to be snuffed from its existence.
a 24 hour life span drawm out for years, seeming eons.
someday, this fly shall be swatted by the right one.
allowing me to sleep again and giving it the end it wishes would come.
when it is safe to dream again. when the buzzing of a saw no longer triggers the terrors of nite in my skull. no more will the blood be on my hands when i awake. no more will i clench damp sheets and scream for mercy. someday, it shall sleep eternally, and i may sleep soundly
through the deafening silence.
someday.
i dare not attempt to choose or tempt my fate, but merely choose the path i take
cold and dark as day, or warm and bright as night, i cannot say
for the path is not paved or foreseeable.
one foot pass the other, till they no longer move, then i still refuse to rest unless the view entices me to stay a bit.
when feet fail me, my heart will move my hands and knees till they become battered, bruised and bloodied.
rest not on cozy bed, but a crooked rock, so as to remind me to not get comfortable.
eat not until childrens bellies are full and rest well. someday they too may see such hard times, but not be while i still have breath. although i may not be able to step in front of all stones cast before them, i will take as many as i can.
once i call you friend, it shall always be. even in a fit of rage you may turn your back on me, and make false accusations, yet, all i hope for is that you see what is real and true and that it hurt you not, but you gain the wisdom that such an event has for you. ill will be not in my heart or mind, but forgiveness may escape me. for i only want to shine the light into the dark corner that you choose to ignore. and i pray that you do not make the same mistakes that i had made when i wore a younger man's clothes.
saying goodbye to someone dear does not hurt merely as bad as realizing that someday, when i am gone, we will never meet again, for you are bound for someplace of wonder, and i bound for somewhere other.
fear not pain. fear not the cold. fear that which makes you most comfortable. for that can be taken away most easily and then you are left with only yourself.