I figured I would take some time out of my crazy life to post a blog about my new status. I have decided to eliminate the waste in my life.
I am tired of having no ended conversations with guys who just want sex, I am tired of having conversations were I feel like I am the bad guy everytime.
I haven't slept for 4 days now I have been sick with what I think is pneumonia, seems when I lay down I just start coughing and well it hurts and I can't get comfortable. Instead of sleeping in pain I decided to stay awake and chat with my friends.
Speaking of friends I have found a few new ones around this thing they call the internet. When I say I am eliminating the waste in my life please take in mind if you are or have read my blog then more then likely I don't consider you waste and you probably are considered a good friend of mine
I met a great friend on fubar about 4 nights ago named Andrew..no not my b/f a different guy. He reminds me of another guy on here so much. I had a good friend on fubar here that me and him had some differences recently as you all my know from my blog posted earlier last week. Well Andrew reminds me of him in so many ways with the kind words he says and the way he makes me smile but the thing is he will never take the place of Steve.
Speaking of Steve I miss him so much and I got a message from him on my shout box, seems he unblocked me thank god I was about to drive my b/f Andrew nuts because I couldn't stop talking about Steve, and I was bitchy to because he seems to be the only one that can calm me down enough to live my so called normal life.
So anyways on to my blog and what I was saying.
I am tired of guys that pretend to be my friend, telling me I have a gorgeous body, sweet smile, or just all that BS stuff just so they can get me naked on cam. Those are the ones I am eliminating, the shallow minded fools out there that have nothing better to do but use there hands because they can't find a real woman to get them off.
I also have a profile on fling an adult hookup website. I am no longer checking that as most the guys on there offer me negativity in my life and if I want things to be better I don't need there messages or there empty promises. I will agree I have met some nice people off of that site, most of witch I would continue to be friends with but nothing more. Such as Ryon, Darrin, Paul, Jeff, and Bryce. You guys are pretty cool as hell and I doubt any of you will get a chance to read this but hey you never know.
Also I have on another site newbie nudes some armature pictures of me naked well that part of my time on that site is done as well. I am no longer associating myself with that site either.
As for my NSFW pictures here on fubar, well I am going to continue to allow them to be viewed by my friends and family only. And let me tell you this the only reason they are still on this site is for the simple fact that I have a way to save them on here as if my computer would crash again like it did before I wouldn't have to retake all of them again.
Just because I have them up on here doesn't mean I am a slut, and it doesn't mean I want sex from everyone that views them. They are simply there for the fact that I am proud of what I have and not afraid to share it with the select few that can see it.
And for turning my life around well I am going to be featured on a BBW website by my close friend the owner of it Stacy Raven. She has asked me to do an interview with her so she can post it on her website as well as take some tasteful pictures to put on there as well. The website is www.hotssbbw.com if you feel compelled to check it out please do so with taste, simplicity, and no it's not a porno site. This site was created to celebrate BBW's everywhere. It's basically taking a stand for this group of women.
Ok back to my friends again. The ones that know me know me well and the ones that want to know me better why don't you take the time to do so.
I joined fubar to meet friends on here, I didn't join for the cheesy little comments you leave me on my profile, or the simple point whores out there. I mean think of it out of the 300 or so friends I have on my list I think I have personally only talked to about 30 of them in my shout box or on yahoo. Of the 30 only about 10-15 of them seemed real. The other 15-20 just wanted to see me naked on cam.
Is that what I portray someone that likes to do cam shows. Well if that's what you think then you obviously haven't taken the time to get to know me that well.
I have things wrong with me and most of my friends only know the half of it all. I want every one that reads this to know the real me.
I suffer from the following-Bipolar, Manic Depression, Suicidal attempts multiple times, OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder), Social Anxiety Disorder, panic attacks, Asthma, IBS(irritable bowel syndrome)-probably TMI but o well, Polysistic Ovarian Syndrome, Lactose Intollerant, hmm what else..oh and just bein plain old me. That's a disease in itself.
So do you think you can handle all of that? Do you think you can deal with the things I deal with on an every day basis?
Can you be there to support me in my trials and tribulations?
I am not asking for your sympathy at the least I just want people to understand why I am the way I am. Why I do the things I do in life.
If you can accept me for me then I am sure were friends already or we need to be friends.
I know I am not the only person out there that suffers everyday. I know there are others like me and I truly understand how hard it is to live every day. It's hard having friends that constantly bring you down even more. Those are the friends I am eliminating. The ones that are around me for just sex.
I wasn't brought on this world or this place to satisfy anyone but myself and starting today I am doing just that.
Smiling more, laughing more, and just being happy to be were I am today.
So if you can handle that then I guess your a true friend and someone that I want to stay in my life. If not and your reading this then just keep on going because I don't feel like wasting my time anymore with fake ass people or horny old men.
I am out for now I just needed to get this off of my chest. BYE
