Today I made quite the profound discovery indeed.
I had never realized until daydreaming about the
beach that I had witnessed an actual "Epiphany".
Now here it is. Check this shit out.
We are taught there are but 4 elements.
Earth, Wind, Fire and Young.. I mean Water.
yeah wow that showed my age didn't it.
anyway.. now this Revelation here showed me there
are actually 8 elements and I'm hypothesizing more.
The Discovery of the 8 Elements.
Saturday, July 08, 2006 9:35am.
The 8 natural elements.
1: Earth
2: Wind
3: Fire
4: Water
5: Carpet
6: Smokes
7: Electronics
8: Coffee
After my recent discovery of the 4 new elements I had to revamp the astrological chart in order to put things as they should be.
Correctly.
Aries - Element: Electronics. Your a genius with a remote.
The Ram. Why? Because you always have to but heads
with everyone always thinking your right.
Taurus - Element: Carpet. You make a great housekeeper.
The Bull. Why? Because your so totally full of shit
and everyone knows it.
Gemini - Element: Smoke. Put down the crack pipe.
The Twins. Why? Because your schizophrenic and can never decide between which personality is in charge.
Cancer - Element: Coffee. Might be the cause of your crabby disposition.
The Crab. Why? Because your general demeanor is that of a crab.
People might mistake you for menopausal or constipated.
Leo - Element: Electronics. Yes your pink cell phone is pretty.
The Lion. Why? Because of that outrageous 80's hair style you refuse to get rid of. People often find the best surf in your hair.
Virgo - Element: Carpet. Stop carpet sharking that's cat litter not crack.
The Virgin. Why? Because Virgos like to pretend they are something they truly are not. You are often found behind the bar or any convenient place giving it up for free.
Libra - Element: Smoke. Pass the bong your camping.
The Scales. Why? Most Libras tend to be drug dealers and often are found to be very snakelike or reptilian in behavior.
Scorpio - Element: Coffee. Edginess does not suit you try a warm glass of milk.
The Scorpion. Why? Because you feel it's easier to just say "fuck you" than "thank you" fuck is 4 letters and thank is 5.
Sagittarius - Element: Electronics. Your vibrator needs new batteries try conservation.
The Archer. Why? Because your always bending over ready to take it in the ass.
Capricorn - Element: Carpet. Stop staring at the floor it's not going anywhere.
The Goat. Why? Because you are far too stubborn and never right anyway you just don't get it is all. The rest of us do.
Aquarius - Element: Coffee. Get me a beer bitch.
The Water Bearer. Why? Get me a beer bitch and find out.
Pisces - Element: Coffee. Have you paid your bar tab lately?
The Fish. Why? Because you drink like one or
can be often mistaken for having had drank far too much.
