I don't know. I'm just a mess, and "there" for the taking. The doctors at school won't help me. They think I'm crazy or something, and I'm not really as crazy as they think I am. People won't listen to me, It's like my thoughts don't mean shit because I don't have those pieces of paper. I'm a smart guy, I know things, I can put things together, and I know myself fairly well. But I don't really matter, it's like if I had a cut or a headache or something and I told somone that I did, they wouldn't believe me until they heard it from a doctor. I'm just sick of everything. I'm sick of having a consicence, and having self control. I'm sick of falling for people that I either can't have, or are in other states, or are "bad" for me.
I'm sick of people being so fucking nice to me. I never know when people are being "nice" or being honest, or what. I'm not saying people should go out of their way to be mean, just fucking be honest. If I'm ever bothering you, and you don't like it, say something. Everything is frustrating right now. Sleep is like my standby solace. Now my sleep is fucked up. I either have nightmares, and or wake up a lot all through the night.
I want someone to sleep with. Someone that I love. Not just someone to have sex with and/or to keep me warm. Someone that I feel good just being in their vicinity. Someone that I have a secure feeling that I love them, and they love me. Yah, it sounds sappy and girly. But whatever. I had a good day, and a weird night, and a depressing morning. I'll probably sleep most of the day. Someone should call me and wake me up so I don't do that.
School is scary. Lots of people there. I think I'm also afraid of failure, it's highly stressfull.
New drink idea? = orangejuice, absolute peach, and 99 bannas, about the same of each. and some ice. I haven't tried that exact thing, but I bet it would be good. They wouldn't put 99 banannas with it, with the peach vodka, so they put bannana liquer in it instread. It was good. I guess I'll just end this thing with the drink. I feel like shit anyway.
Hope ya'll had a good weekend.
