I have learned two things about Forgiveness. First, forgiving someone is a gift I give myself, not a gift I give them. If I hold onto a resentment, I only punish myself.
As someone once told me, holding on to a resentment is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to die.
So no more resentments for me.
Second, I have learned that I never have to forgive, if I never blame. After all, they were doing what THEY thought was best, given what they knew at the time.
Even if they deliberately tried to hurt me, I only satisfy their ambitions if I allow myself to be hurt. Why would I give someone that power over me?
So there is simply no need to blame.
But if I find myself slipping into blame, I can end my agony by remembering these two lessons.
PS This goes for myself to. No good comes from blaming myself for things, I can learn from the past and move on to better things without blaming myself for what I did not know.