Fridays Trip To The Hospital To See Grandfather
Hey all my friends out there. I could not go much of the week to see grandfather until friday due to my own therapy. Which by the way is going ok. Though I gotta admit is whooping my ass at times. The muscles on the left side of my shoulders and neck are being slow to recover while the right is pretty much good to go. After two cervical fusions I guess you get what you can. On to grandfather though. Sis and I went friday and as luck would have it soon as we get there he is already on dialysis. Sure enough his physical therapy people were there to work with him and could not. His case worker were there and all of us were trying to figure out why in the hell dialysis was there at 6 am when they should not be there till in the afternoon hours. Reason being is so he has the strength to do his physical therapy,speech therapy, and other things that he needs to be doing while he has the strength to do it. So basically he was on dialysis till around noon and that pretty much had him spent the rest of the day. He slept till almost 4 and that gave us a hour with him awake. I hated the fact that he had to miss out on the things that he needs to get done to get to whatever is going to be his best.
He has developed a infection in his blood this week and they are trying to track it down. They are not sure if it has come from all the lines that have been in him for so long or if it has come from just being in the hospital since may. Yesterday he also spiked a fever of 101. Which for someone in his condition is not good at all. I guess we are back to 1 step forward and 2 back again.
I saw yesterday something in my grandfathers face I had never seen before...fear. In my life I have never seen that look on his face. He has always been a stoic and proud man. Any of my friends that have met him can attest to that. When grandmother(his wife) died he remained the strong figure of the family. His brother died and still was the man who acted more worried about everyone else than showing his true emotions. Remeber he grew up in a era where men did not show their emotions and he lived a hard life growing up. He was born in 1922 so he has seen alot. Still that look yesterday made my soul weep. I held his hand and kissed his forhead and try to make him understand that it was going to be ok. That we loved him and he was still our grandfather. Honestly I don't know if that was grandfather looking scared. Some of you know he has developed that deliruim from being in the hospital for so long. Whatever the case it still hurt my heart so much to see him like that. Not that everyday does not hurt but yesterday that look really just hurt yanno. By the end of the visit he squeezed my hand which has become our way of doing hugs. I took some joy from that much.
As most of you know it has been a hard road. I cannot thank you all so much for that support you give. I know I say it alot on here but it really means and makes a difference. I wanna send a shout out to my friend Jason who took the time last week to listen to me on the phone do a whole lot of venting. Jason and my life have taken different roads but last week he stepped up and let me really get alot of stuff off my chest and I cannot thank him enough.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. Be safe and again thanks. Ron
