greg's blog: "funny"

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Columbus who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Worthington and one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin , is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City . I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan? Signed, Worried About My Reputation

to my friends from Michigan....please accept my sincere apologies.....this is just humor...not to be taken too seriously. :-) Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a Toledo Park when one is >suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other >boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twists it >breaking the dog's neck and saving his friend. > >A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Toledo Rockets >Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. > >"But I'm not a Rockets fan," the little hero replied. > >"Sorry, since we are in Ohio, I just assumed you were," said the > >reporter and he starts writing again. "Buckeyes Fan Rescues Friend > From Horrific Attack" > >"I'm not a Buckeyes fan either," the boy said > >"Oh, I assumed everyone in Toledo was either for the Rockets or the >Buckeyes. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. > >"I'm a Wolverines fan," the child said. > >The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, > >"Little Bastard From Michigan Kills Beloved Family Pet." > >GO BUCKS

Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A: The Cleveland Browns. Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". Q: How do you keep a Cleveland Brown out of your yard? A: Put up goal posts. Q: Where do you go in Cleveland in case of a tornado? A: To The Browns Stadium - they never get a touchdown there! Q: What do you call a Cleveland Brown with a Super Bowl ring? A: A thief. Q: Why doesn't Canton have a professional football team? A: Because then Cleveland would want one. Q: What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a dollar bill? A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. Q: How many Cleveland Browns does it take to win a Super Bowl? A: Nobody knows and we may never find out! Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and possums have in common? A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "Probably elk hunting with his buddies."

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About two hours." The guy left. A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About three hours." The guy left. A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back." A little while later Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" Bill looked up, tears in his eyes from laughter and said, "Your house."