A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts " Awa ye feel hoor thats full O' coos Sharn"
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Scotsman man shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in."