Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading and invading
America......Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West
Virginians will no longer be referred to as
"HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ....
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY
IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
"CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
"MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY
REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is
"PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a
"LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY
CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION."
5. He is not a Cradle Robber He prefers "GENERATIONAL
DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes
"ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He developed a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE
EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
"RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
pants - It is "REAR
CLEAVAGE."