This guy dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Demon All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer, no biggie - you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow...that's....awesome!
Demon : I bet you like to gamble.
Guy : Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Demon: Cause Wednesday, you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever... If you go bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.
Demon You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if ya overdose - that's right you're dead- who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowzat! I never realised Hell was such a swingin' place!!
Demon: You gay?
Guy: NO!!!!!!!!!
Demon: Oooohh, you're gonna hate Fridays.....
