Hello...Good-Bye,Daddy
By Victoria Robinson
The plane's engines groaned in defiance as it tried to escape the gravity that was holding it to the earth. Once free, it settled into a gentle hum that was almost a comfort to hear. I hated flying because it scared me so. It was a fear of not being in control of my life. Someone else had the helm, and I was just a bystander.
But today was different. It was a very special thing that made me hop on a plane and fly to California. I was going to see my father. As I watched the clouds beneath me protect the earth in a blanket of pristine white, my thoughts drifted back to my childhood when I was seven.
"Victoria," Granny called from the front door. "There's mail for you." My heart almost stopped with excitement. I had never gotten mail!
I ran as fast as I could and almost ran right into Granny. "Slow down," Granny said with a smile. To my surprise there was a package, not just a letter, but a package! All for me! I sat down on the couch and ripped the brown paper wrapping as fast as l could. I didn't even know who it was from, but it didn't matter. It was something for me and me alone!
The tissue paper rattled as I threw each piece to the floor, and when I had the last piece almost off, I saw it. Oh, my eyes could not believe it! A beautiful red jumper with lace ties on the side and a white blouse with puffy sleeves. I screamed and stood up and something dropped to the floor. I stopped and looked down at my shoe. It was something shining and round. A silver dollar laid at my feet. "Oh Granny . . . look, Granny, look, a silver dollar." I picked it up and felt the cold metal in my hand. It almost covered my entire palm!
I caught Granny staring at me, arms folded and her head shaking back and forth with amusement. Finally, she spoke, "That's from your daddy. He sent you a birthday present," she stated flatly. "Really, Granny? Really! This is from my daddy?"
I had not seen my father since I was eighteen months old, and I didn't really remember him at all. But I had my fantasy of him that I had dreamed up in my head. A white knight on a beautiful horse and he always, always called me Princess.
And I would let no one talk badly about my father, because he was The Prince I had manufactured in my own little world and I loved him more than anything in life. After all, he was always close because I carried his picture with me and we had grand conversations.
The plane rocked as we hit turbulence and the seat belt sign came on. I fastened my seat belt and was hurled back into reality. The flight attendant touched my shoulder and I jumped, which frightened us both, and we exchanged a strained laugh. "May I get you anything?" she asked with a smile.
"No, no thank you," I managed with a slight bit of embarrassment.
"Thirty minutes and we'll be landing," she said and walked away.
I closed my eyes and thought, Thirty minutes and I'll be seeing my father. After twenty-five years, I was going to actually meet the man I called Daddy. I had never in my life wanted to see someone as much as I wanted to see and know him. I loved him even if I had not seen him. He was my father.
I stepped off the plane and the sun was warm on my face. I took a deep breath and went to catch a taxi to finally meet my father face-to-face.
I opened the door to the church and stood there for what seemed like an eternity. The red carpet under my feet, I thought, How beautiful. I walked to the front of the church and the small talk around me stopped, and there was silence that filled the entire room.
"Daddy? Hi, Daddy, it's your little girl, Victoria." I touched the casket where my father lay and felt the cold metal in the palm of my hand. I fought the emotions that were so near the surface. I just wanted to tell you I loved you and have missed you so much. I reached to touch his hair and the face I would never forget.
"Daddy, I brought something to give you. Do you remember my birthday? Oh, you made me so happy that day." My voice cracked and I choked back the tears that I knew were coming.
"I've kept this all these years, but I want you to have it now."
I placed the silver dollar under his hands. It's okay, Daddy, I had enough love for both of us.
"I guess this is hello and good-bye, Daddy. I just wish I could have felt your arms around me and heard you call me Princess just one time."
I knew I was falling apart at that moment, as someone touched my shoulder and asked, "Are you Victoria? You're Harold's daughter, right?"
I fought back the tears and answered, "Yes."
The man hugged me and said, "I have known you all your life, although I never met you. Your father spoke of you often with such pride. He carried a picture of you around in his pocket and referred to you as his little Princess."
