It's scary how many paths we cross in our world today. And how many people we "touch" without even knowing it. One's words or actions may influence another person who's far away. And you wouldn't likely know. Maybe you made them laugh, or cry, or feel better, or really pissed them off. Completly unknowingly. Especially with the internet.
There may be people you never even see, or hear, or hear from reading your page and looking at your pictures, and making snap judgments about the type of person you are, or aren't. Ya never know.
The next aspect of this is you end up talking to people and knowoing about more people than you ordinarily would have. Or atleast I do. ( I have hundreds of people on my friends lists all together on my friends lists from various networking site like this. Checkout the tagworld link in the about me section. Not everyone reads my blogs, but a great many of them do that otherwise wouldn't even know someone like me existed in the world )I don't leave my house much. I actually don't even leave my room much. So normally I wouldn't even talk to anyone but my family, people I have to for work or school. And people required for basic living functions. ( grocery shopping, etc. )And maybe a few friends of my family. Other than that, no one else would know me at all. Or talk to me. Or see me really.
But here with this marvellous invention, I get to see the world voyeristicly through this protective screen. I can say whatever I want, and do whatever I want without worrieing about much at all. It's not like these people will meet me, and harrass me, or beat me up or anything. ( Note- I'm not really worried about that anyway, I act about the same anywhere, even public when I do chose to be there. ) This allows other people to be assholes who normally wouldn't be for fear of having to face the person they were assholes to. But here they get to hide behind the screen. The other side of it is that too. I don't have to worry about losing my temper and kicking anyone's ass, because I simply don't have the oppurtunity wether I really wanted to or not.
I was at a concert tonight. it was VAST, and 3 other bands. I think one was the marletos? or something like that. They were pretty good. There was a guy just kinda shoving through the crowd, not being polite at all. If thoughts could kill, wel I guess he'd still be alive, just kinda bloody and broken a bit. But hey, it's not really worth it. I don't like being touched, I don't like being around lots of other people, but I can deal with it ok. I do rather enjoy concerts, so it's a fair trade off. He, ( as well as probably me ) was lucky I was zoned out when he shoved past me. I have real problems with people I don't know shoving me. ( really even touching me )The last guy who did that got elbowed in the nose, and if I wasn't standing in formation, and people didn't say stuff, it's likly more would have followed, out of reflex. I'm a jumpy person. It triggers a lot of things that I have to stop when stuff like that happens. I just don't like that feeling, and then stopping it. It's kind of like a mad addrenline rush, and then having to just sit there. NOT FUN.
Anyway, back to the internet.
We end up hearing about other people's lives. A huge influx of info we aren't uste to. ( Or atleast I'm not uste to. ) And people handle it different ways. Some take it more serious than others. How do I handle hardship? The same way I handle daner, I laugh at it. lol. There's some stuff you can't do shit about. At the top of that list is stuff that has allready happened. " Don't cry over spilled milk." But sooner or later you look back to laugh at it, so why not sooner? Every once in a while I feel bad for not feeling bad.. If that makes any sense. But there's really no fucking use for it anyway. And then it makes other people more upset that I'm not upset. They are upset because they don't see me suffering. Me suffering, doesn't help anything.
Other things, I've ended up talking to people with all sorts of messed up problems. Lukemia to cancer, suicidal people, everyone has their own issues. Often times, I don't really know what to say. Because I don't see anything that will make it better. People think I'm a pesamist. I'm not. I'm really an optimist. I truely believe or atleast lie to myself and force my self that things will get better. ( for me, cuz I will do stuff to make them better. I wish I could control the whole world, but I don't have that kind of power just quite yet. Hit me up later maybe. )
But right now, I realize the reality of things. Which is basicly life sux, I kinda hate the world and most of the people who I've ended up theoreticly protecting while I was in the army. So I've been protecting all these idiots and assholes who not only wouldn't do the same for me, but would do opposite if they really had the chance. The really sad thing, is I don't fit in the world that I've been protecting, and am thinking about now escaping it, by once again going into the mode of protecting them. Once again, protecting the idiots and assholes that don't accept me, because they don't accept me. THERE JUST SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING REALLY FUCKED UP IN THAT!!!
Anyway, shit happens. That's the basic morral to the story here. I really don't know what to say about other people's problems. And I'm sure many people are similar to me in that. You wouldn't have known me if it wasn't for the internet, so don't get mad if I don't, or cant help you. Just be glad I'm not psycho, going out of my way to hurt you.
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You Are 36% Sociopath
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From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good.
It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!
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