The new title was dragged from me due to it being needed for the book jacket. I now have a glossy one due off the presses and it has a bit about my new book which is now entitled A Tranquil Buzz in the Jungle. Well, Beryl has a lot to answer for and Henrietta is of the Gentle Creed both of whom (if creatures are whom’s) caused a stir.
I have now sold 13 books and am expecting four reviews, the most surprising one from my brother-in-law who is a talker rather than a reader. I am so grateful that he offered to do it as he is not eloquent by admission.
The publishers/book distributors who ordered a book or two have not had the courtesy to answer any emails enquiring about their trading conditions or confirm receipt of books or even quibble about them. So I don't think much of their business acumen.
My marketing manager sent me the final proof of the jacket and it was fantastic so it is at the printers today and should soon be hot off the presses. So we can say that the proof of the jacket is in the pressing!!!
It was he who knows all's birthday yesterday and he was singing, "Will you still love me when I am sixty four?" Crikey, does not the time fly? We will soon be packing for a three week 20 year honeymoon. The girl at the booking place asked if it was a special occasion and he who has the compeetoes said that it was a 20th anniversary which cut no ice with her. 20 years is a remarkable achievement, does she not know. Anyway, perhaps he should have said that it is my birthday, maybe that would be special.
So back to the birthday and we went for a Chinese which was most enjoyable. There was a humungous humbanger of a thunder storm when we walked to the bus stop so it was as well I did not have my MP3 because, by virtue of the fact that the earphones stick to the fridge door every time I bend over to get into it are magnetic and no doubt would have been a lightening hotwirer. Anyway, it was pouring too and I always think I will be electricuted if they got wet - the earphones that is.
Well, the meal was good, the duck had no complaints but I had a bone to pick with it, in fact it was such a sharp bone that it was a very good toothpick. It was until it broke so the bird must have suffer with brittle bone disease.
We quaffed and quacked I had red and he who is much older now had white. This always causes confusion when we go out because they have not come across a pair of married winos before now.
Anyway, the storm abated and we caught the bus home. That is a stupid expression. We caught the bus, got off at the stop and then walked home. We had been drinking, I just said that, but we must have looked like drunks because Sylvia and her naked relatives were out on the tiles. They were out in their millions all over the pavement from the gardens and the verges. I don't like either dressed or naked snails, garlic ones are fine but they are dead tasty and not trail blazing. So even though I don't like them I also don't like walking on shells. CRUNCH, SQUELCH. Consequently the walk on the wild slide was more of a lobsters quadrill, whatever that is.
My brain is not functioning and it is nothing to do with alcohol, it is through increasing medication and that is the only reason I think I find myself slumped over Brassy Lass in the wee small hours. I hate that when you try looking through your glasses when they are covered in arm prints from your brief lapse nap.
I digress from I don't know where but at the moment I am listening to Shakira, in Spanish because the other programme has finished playing. That is all because I am trying out Tidly Tosh's Traveling companion. It is an MP Heaven knows how many Player. It has a chargeable battery which is supposed to last 40 hours so I have been given the happy task of listening to it for 40 hours - daft or what? It is humungous and at first I thought it was a 1960's Pager complete with proper body clip. It is actually only an MP2 - yes, 2 hard 2 handle let alone understand. He who spends the compeetoes has bought it probably off E Buy Gum for me to listen to on the long lonely economy seven flight which sounds like it will take 40 hours complete with a long haul stop in Abu Dhabi but not for an Arabian Knight, luck would be a fine chance.
You know how it is when you are travelling, firstly there is the travelling public, then there are the turbo engines which we usually get put on top of so you are deaf by the time you get off, then there are all the inane announcements about the bargains that can be obtained from the in flight magazine courtesy of the Have you been Done Trolley. Like, I really need cream to get rid of my wrinkles, It is cheaper to put weight on because that fills any cracks!
Oh talking of cracks, when we were flying back from Rhodes in June I was sitting next to an elderly couple, nothing wrong with that, but I had a silly thought when the meal was cleared away and asked the steward whether they re-cycled the foil trays. He told me that he had not thought about it and did not know. Anyway, the elderly gentleman asked, at that point, "Is that why you are a vegetarian?" I had to think laterally to follow his line and replied that I hated struggling with fused sausages and other items of dubious originating meat. Also that veggie meals usually tasted better, I say usually because that particular meal had been fuse welded to the point of being harder than Bakelite. I am still trying to figure why he thought recycling aluminium relates to vegetarianism, perhaps I just looked totally wacky and he maybe associates that with veggies. I suppose it is a new age thing to him even though it has been practiced for years. Well he does live in the huge parochial parish wherein we reside - there are still those here who have never left the parish boundaries in their lives and some are younger than me, well that is not too hard to happen. Oh enough of that except to say that if he who does the shopping did not buy another lump of meat it would not bother me at all because I hate cleaning the grill and oven as well as the pans. I will find something that I really love that can be talked of to write home about – oh, Vino Tinto, I love vino tinto – aahhh and writing - Pah.
Back to the MP2 hard to handle let alone understand, Shakira is in fine voice but then she always is. I love the words to her songs, they make me smile, like "I would like to be the owner of the Zipper on your jeans,” or "You said you would love me until you died and as far as I know you are still alive." So with he who has the compeetoes singing “Will you still love me when I am sixty four,” and me struggling with the MP2 hard to handle let alone understand it is time to put this to bed and get back to the pesky blob removal service. Pah. Oh perhaps not, I have been told that it is a limited edition so it has to be signed and that is on the jacket, so it is like being at school and having your name sewn into your clothes. I sent four copies to a gentleman to display in his shop which is not a book shop at all but a photo one. I sweet talked him into four because I had just packaged four up. I am getting into the packaging industry and am now a dab hand at building boxes for books, easy really and I hope no one turns their noses up at my packing efforts, yes, well the boxes are naturally hand made from Kumala Red Boxes and I think that takes re-cycling to another level. Maybe that is why that big publishing/distribution company never got in touch because they saw the calibre of the packing department and decided to judge the book by the cover – huh, I won’t be sending them a jacket or two even though the poor things are probably residing in some draughty warehouse on the East Coast of England. And just to prove that Autumn has arrived, the Finches are tearing the huge rosehips to pieces and enjoying themselves even more than Beryl on a Buzzday pass.
Well, it is now that time to take the bull by the horns and cook some tea which means it is time to let the Vin Jinni out of the bottle. Hmmmmm
