Why is it that people think it is ok to hurt others. Is it to make themselves feel better or are they sick inside and they get off on making others feel about a inch tall. I am a human being with feelings. I feel as though no matter what I say and/or do I am never doing it good enough. I can never do enough or say enough to make people happy. I am so sick of trying when all I get is slapped in the face. When someone I care about slaps me in the face it hurts. It makes me feel as though I am less than human. I am sick of hurting all the time. Everyone tells me suck it up stop letting it get to you well damn it the only way to do that is not feel anything at all. How the hell do you do that? How do you stop feeling anything? I am not a fucking robot. I have feelings though I would much rather I didn't. I am tired of loving, caring and making others happy when I don't get anything in return. I am not anyone's kicking post don't use me as such. I want to scream out and make someone feel as hurt as I am. But that would make me just as bad as the one who is hurting me. What do I do? How do I make it stop? I feel so lost right now and I don't know if I will ever find my way back.
I just got a call from this person telling me that the only way I will be human is if I confess all of my sins and the bad things I have done to them. I have apologized time and time again. WTF do I have to keep apologizing for the same damn things? God I am human I make mistakes. I am not perfect. Appearently that is what they want of me. I don't know how to be perfect. I don't want to do this anymore. I just can't keep going like this. They are trying to make me crazy and its working. Someone save me from me.
