For those of us who have ever had a client or customer or someone similar swear up and down they sent something or we still have it I offer up this passage written by a friend and shamelessly handed around by yours truly.
I Do Not Have Your File, Bitch
I do not see your file here,
I do not see your file there,
I do not see it in a plane,
I do not see it in a train,
I do not see it in a house,
I do not see it in a mouse,
I do not see it in the grass,
I do not see it up my ass,
I do not see it in my bed,
Nor is it in your empty head,
It is not sitting on a broom,
It is not in my file room
Do not ask me where is your file,
My answers put you in denial,
You do not believe me when I say,
"Your file is not here today!"
Your incessant questions make my migraine itch,
I don't have your file, you stupid bitch.
