1. Have you had sex in the last 24 hours?:
I violated myself just few hours ago . . . but if you mean with another human being . . . stop fucking reminding me that I have nothing to "get on top of" lately
2. Are you single?
I have many imaginary compainions that accompany me with vibrations galore
3. Do you have hairy legs?
I really find shaving them to be a public service of which one day someone will exclaim "thank you for shaving your legs"
4. Do you like monkeys?
I like monkeys accompanied by midgets and shaved dogs, oh and a video camera is always a plus as well . . . but monkeys on their own are a little much for me wih the throwing poo and all
5. How many fillings do you have?
Not near enough . . .
6. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
I would rather swin in a pool filled with jello preferably grape jello
7. Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
I have been known to just go around licking things at random
8. Have you ever read the Bible?
I have issues with uch long works of fiction, after about 500 pages I start to go numb
9. Do you wear a lot of black?
Why does that bother you? How about the trench coat that bother you too? Muhahahahaha
10. Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
Does the fact that I carried a shaved chihuahua in my bag that I called muffin and taught to kill those who got within 5 feet of me count as a weapon?
12. Do know what a sphincter is?
If I tell you what it is then you're not gonna look as stupid as you do now
13. Describe your hair?
I'll tell you what, I'll make it really big, and put on some slutty see through dress and tumble around on top of cars and then you can describe it to me
14.. Are you a wild beast?
Yep and I have many a sleeveless t-shirt to pronounce that for me, as well as the sign dangling from my trailer
15. Do you like to have fun?
No, I prefer to sit and do nothing all the time and lead a boring nothing life with no fun and no excitement . . . I abhore fun
16. Do you like drama?
I am surrounded by it nonstop, I try to get away and the characters just follow me . . . I am a Shakespeare story waiting to be written
17. Do you like mayonnaise?
No, I think it is just an unholy union of food items . . . and well I am not convinced it is truly what they say it is
18. Are you afraid to die?
Why should I be I am never dying . . . I will live forever dammit
19. Do you like playing in leaves?
Only naked with a monkey, a midget, and a shaved dog
20. Do you like tic tacs?
Don't ticks sread disease? Though tacking them may be a part of the solution to this disease issue
21. Have you ever thrown up on somebody?
Oh yes and I did it purely out of spite
22. Are you an adult?
I'm not real sure of the answer to this
24. Do you think you have a good handle on spelling?
I can spell wonderfully I just can't type for shit
25. Are you a t.v addict?
Addict makes it sound so dirty
26. Do you think O.J. is guilty?
Nope and here is why . . . I killed those two it was all me, all about my blood lust, OJ was just way too easy to frame, but he got off dammit and my plan was ruined.
27. Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
No, but I am taking applications if you are wanting to apply
28. In the park?
Ok well it depends on how far you take the idea of park . . . a cemetary is a nice resting place for people . . . could be a park
29. Do you like Elvis?
Which Elvis? I could go for a real hot Elvis impersonator to fill soem empty positions in my life
30. Do you enjoy watching animals "do it"?
Why yes yes I do . . . animal porn is hot, damn hot . . . those shaved dogs really get me going
31. Ever been hit on at a zoo?
Oh yeah that gorilla masturbates for me all the time, I'll take him up on the offer one of these trips
32. Does your mom think someones hot?
She probably thinks that gorilla is hot and then I'm gonna have to kick her ass for stealing my primate
34. Are you a sugar freak?
Nah I am your run of the mill regular variety freak
35. When you hear a knock on the door, do you think "oh shit it's the cops"?
If I am naked watching dog porn then yes yes I do
36. Will you ever have sex with a total stranger?
No, I prefer them to be a little less than totally strange . . . strange may be contagious
37. Ever commit a crime and gotten away with it?
It's only a crime if I was caught
38. Do you like orange juice?
Only with vodka
39. Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
Iused to dance for the elderly but when one of my tassles flew into the crowd and took out an eye I was asked not to come back
40. Where do you wish you were right now?
Wasted away again in Margaritavilla
41. Did you enjoy this?
Should you ever really ask a woman that?
42. Did you eat your glue as a child?
Hmmm, maybe that is where my taste for white sticky substances comes from
43. Did you ever put beans up your nose?
Nope oral fixation here not nasal
44. Have you ever heard your parents having sex?
Hmm, well my dad is dead so that would just be fuking creepy and how many shades of wrong?
45. Have your parents ever caught you having sex?
If so she was so mortified that she neevr said a word
46. Can you roll your tongue?
Will you love me more if I can
47. Can you lick your own nose?
I will love you if you can
48. Do you like Halloween?
I love any day that I can dress like a whore and not get into trouble
49. Did you watch Saved by the Bell?
No I never watched the goings on of Zack and Screech
50. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?
Hmm, well never tried a cherry stem but I can do amazing things with my tongue
