"Don't remember me in daisy-dream dresses,
reality-wrecked trails of mascara,
and the utterings of star-stapled syllables,"
I want to growl beneath my breath
as the world spins me insane
with monsters that thrive on the shadows of anger
and hearts that quit beating decades ago
(when a thousand goodbyes
have speckled my dimples depressed
and left me pondering how it could be
that the sunrises of tomorrow
promise nothing new)
"Don't recall me in tones that don't fit me,
make-believing I'm worth more than a dust-monkey's tail
when my lips have dropped nothing but lies,"
I want to share with the ears that will listen
as I'm stripped of all will to survive the storm
beneath shoulders weighed down
with echoing heartaches
and paranoias of the creatures
that lurk in the past
(because I lose my breath
when the nightwhispers start,
and I can't hear myself in silences
if I've been blinded by unmovable hands)
"Don't you dare bring back the galaxies in my eyes
with the flutterings of melodies you'll never feel
and paper signatures that mean only
that you have permission to break your words later,"
I want to shove through everyone's teeth,
because the world's mixing fantasies
into memory's constellations
and striving to suffocate me
with smiles I've gotten used to forcing
and wishes I just can't let fall
from my twirling tongue
(and I'm scraping chewed fingernails
down the skin on my chest,
hoping to rip open a crater I can reach into
to pull my deadened soul from my burning lungs,
because I've never perfected the art of letting go
and I've been holding my breath for too long)
"Please don't drag me back into the blood in your veins
with lullabyed dreamscapes
of worlds you'll never understand,
wide-eyed ponderings of eternities
you'll never touch with trembling fingers,
and the musings of mumbling magics
that cross your eyelashes only at the ticking seconds of sunset,
because I'm nothing but a mechanical heart
that won't ever grasp the reasons
you're trying so desperately to make me swallow down,"
and I'm crying tears that freeze upon my face
as asteroids impact the planets behind my skull
and a million people chant in unison
that my world is bound to throw itself off a cliff soon
should I refuse to look at things their way
(and the shadows at my back realize
that the fight is only just starting,
because I'll never look at things
the way the world seems to be destined to make me)
