I didn't sleep last night, I haven't fuckin ate.. I keep crying and fucking crying and all I really want is for my bf to be with me right now. I'm having personal drama with myself and I normally don't get this way much or it passes by fast.. I'm shaking, pale, tried to force myself to eat.. i just feel fucking worthless.. i absolutely need him. My mom is leaving tomorrow to go to St. Louis and I know I really can't be alone.. I'll seriously go insane.. I'm actually scared. why.. i dunno. I wanna fuckin sleep but i can't it just leads to more anxiety for some reason.. i need someone here bad.. but it's just not going to happen.. I don't want n e one around me from here.. omfg I don't even know if I'm repeating myself.. and honestly I'm not fucked up or drunk or n e thing i dunno what to do.. i know no one is gonna read this so i won't be so embarrassed i just need to i don't fuckin know.. fuck it!
