Written by my dear friend Domme Maggie a R/L Mistress and my mentor in the lifestyle of BDSM.
Darlin' slaves,
As I often discuss rules and protocol.. I felt you might appreciate the following. (tongue in cheek) Memorize them! -chuckle-
i will not carve the flogger handles
i will not spank others
i will not aim for Mistress's head
i will not yell safeword in the grocery store
i will not sell the names on Her newsgroup list to the National Enquirer or Sun
i will not read and giggle at Mistress's logs from the Dominant Forum
i will not yell fire every time Mistress lights a candle
funny noises are not funny
i will not snap Mistress's bra
Punishment is not boring or pointless
i will not call Mistress, Dr. Death
i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Mistress's D/s party
i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe-Dom hunting
i will not bring sheep to the subbie forum
a burp is not an appropriate response to Mistress
i will not eat all Mistress's m & m's while she is at work
i will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum
Mistress's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet
i will not call Mistress, spud head, butt head or any kind of head,
Mistress IS perfect
mud is not an acceptable side dish for Mistress's dinner
i will NOT walk around wearing Mistress's bra cup on my head,
pretending it is a Yamaka.
i will not peek out of the blindfold
there is no such thing as "slave immunity"
i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permission
i did not win an emmy for my last session
i will not hide all Mistress's toys
all play and no work does not a good slave make
i will not say "oh Mistress you're the bestest and brightest" just to get a spanking
i can not fire Mistress
my last assignment was not stolen by one armed internet hackers
i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips
i will refrain from saying "hail satan" when i don't like Mistres's orders
i will not remind Mistress daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr anniversary
i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all the clamps
i will not use Mistress's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool
i will not wear Mistress's underwear on my head
Mistress's dog does not stink
i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand
....and last but not least
i will not use the pages from Mistress's Dominant Handbook to start the grill...
