have you ever had a feeling that you couldnt really explain. not scared or mad or happy but something else. like in your stomach is like a big ball of emotion and it just makes you want to cry? thats how i feel right now. i cant explain why. the smallest things hurt my feelings now. it doesnt matter who it is or anything i feel like crying all the time. im sad. and the worst part is. i honestly think that no one really cares. my friends see me as having fun and laughing but i think they cant handle this side of me or maybe they really just dont care if im unhappy. i hate my life the spot that im in right now. people think that its so easy being so carefree but actually i worry about so much. im always thinkin about things that happened so long ago and if i did something differently would it be different would i be different. life is strange. the things that come back to you. i cant remember alot of the good things but all the bad are right there lingering in my memory. and i know that most people wont read this but it helps to write about it. i think that even if i made changes in my life i still wouldnt be happy. i dont know what im supposed to do. i feel like im missing something not a person but there is something that isnt right within me its like im broken and i dont know how to fix myself. im battling my demons but not doing a very good job. i guess ill stop tying now its getting kinda hard to see the screen with all the tears. ill write more later