so they say keep telling me that the longer david is away it will get easier... well he has been gone now for almost a month and its not gettin any easier i mean i still have like 11 more months to go and i get to see him in march but still. It's hard to wake up in the morning knowing he isnt gonna be there, and its hard coming home to a virtually empty house and sleeping in an empty bed... i still expect to roll over at night and hug him but all i get instead is a pillow or a bear... i miss him so much and i'm trying to do this i really am... but i still catch myself trying to stop myself from crying, and i freak out when i'm alone sometimes and i have to remind myself to breath... i mean i know he and i havent had the best relationship and he hasnt treated me great all the time... but its working out and we are making it... and it has gotten better... i love him so much its not even funny... and i think i took that for granted and didnt realize it until he was gone... i now have a completely different outlook on us and him... and have a newfound respect for him... not just as my friend,lover,companion but as a soldier and my protector....
